Posts Tagged ‘Carnival of The Vanities’

Carnival of the Vanities #230: Cops, Atlanta

Posted in Carnival of The Vanities on February 15th, 2007 by Kehaar – 18 Comments

So it’s been a big week for me. The interesting stuff started Saturday night when I was out having a beer with a buddy of mine. We’re sitting in this pub with a bunch of drunks from the party bus. Their all really drunk, especially this little fella’ who’s probably 5’6″ or something. He’s making time with this young lady who is making time with his buddy. This doesn’t sit well with the Leprechaun. He gets mad, storms out to the parking lot and starts taking swings at whoever comes within slugging distance. This includes the Cobb County Police when they show up to take him away to the drunk tank.

Junior ain’t real bright and manages to turn a drunk-and-disorderly misdemeanor into a bonafide resisting-arrest and assaulting-an-officer. The whole bar was gathered at the windows to watch. We were all really excited…and then they tasered him. Blue sparks and everything. It was really cool.

My second encounter with the law was Tuesday evening. I’d been out with my pals from the Emory Supper Club and we’d walked around the block for ice cream. We were headed back to our cars when 8 to 10 young men came running through the parking lot. My first thought was “Huh. Looks like they’re having fun.”

That’s when I realized that at least one of them was yelling “Shoot that ni—-! Somebody shoot that ni—-!” I realized they weren’t necessarily running for fun. They were running away. And at. And towards. They were hitting each other and throwing rocks and aerosol spray cans and smashing each others vehicles, etc. They all appeared to be drawing weapons, but I realized later that this was just a bluff so that all the other combatants would believe they were armed.

Being the bulletproof man that I am, I stood on the other side of the street calmly speaking to the 911 lady. I was engrossed watching the unfolding violence, little fearing for my own safety. I didn’t notice that all my friends were slowly edging away behind these dumpsters trying to get away before they were gunned down. It was only when a carload of the young gentlemen squealed out of the parking lot, pulled up in front of me and got out of the car to threaten another party of hooligans that I thought it might be best for me to vacate the area.

The cop (singular) eventually showed up and gave the young men a genial word of caution and waved at them as they drove away. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Dekalb County’s finest. I feel safer already.

And now, on with the show.

***

Suldog starts the show with the best entry of this week’s Carnival. I wish more people would take time to actually tell a story or have something to say. I guess it would help if more people were hit in the face with a softball. I guess he doesn’t have the well-oiled, catlike reflexes that are my birthright.

Falling back to the same old dreck people seem to send the Carnival, towncrierblog blames the growth of the KKK on the “Republic” party.

If this were a Valentine’s Day themed Carny, Mark A. Rayner would be at the top. His VD themed post covers things women like more than sex. Mark proves himself an optomist by only listing three or four things. Ever been married, Mark?

Leon Gettler talks about the politics and markets of unspeakable jargon. Leon, you’re only about four years behind the market with that post.

mom & dad present Transitioning from Crib to Bed and Bye, Bye Pacifier. My parents tell a similar story about my brother the Black Sheep. He evidently had quite a time giving up his “passy”.

Andrew Ian Dodge debates whether the Libertarians have more in common with Democrats than Republicans.

Madeleine Begun Kane sent in two posts but I invoked the “only one post per week” rule again. I’m editing this week. She calls out Kos for pruning the Blog Roll.

Aparna is back with more beauty tips. I’m practicing the beauty saving facial exercises as I type.

Wayne Hurlbert presents Employment ethics: Responsibility works.

Darcy Xenophon also would make a Valentine’s themed Carnival. She writes rhymes about her cat in You gotta love me. I don’t know about you guys, but I didn’t read that rule anywhere.

****

And that’s it for this week. Hope everyone had a nice Valentine’s Day. Mine turned out okay. I got a late invite to join some church buddies yesterday afternoon and there was this one girl who was at the Super Bowl party a few weeks back and we talked and it turns out that we’re getting married.

Okay, just kidding. We might get lunch sometime.

It’s a start.

I hope the Carnival of the Vanities will return to its normal Wednesday routine next week. Supper Club is done. If you want to be part of the CoTV, send your entries through Blog Carnival. And please GOD think about whether the stuff you submit is any damned good or not. Send your BEST stuff, not some crap you had lying around that you spent two minutes writing and even less time thinking about.

And if you’re just going to name-drop and ass-kiss, I’m not putting that crap in the Carnival.

Nuff said. I think I need some sleep.