Silflay Hraka

Today, via their handy web form for cowards and informers, I sent the Saudi Religious Police the following message:

From: Mohammed Ali Ali Ocksen Phrie

City: Jeddah

Email: disapprove@hesbah.com

Sin: Flirting

To whom it may concern.

Peace be upon you, and upon the loins of your Filipino servants, may they spring forth anew each morning! My name is Mohammed Ali Ali Ocksen Phrie, and I am writing to complain about Dr Abdullah bin Muhammad bin Ibrahim Al Al-Sheikh, who habitually passes gas of the most noisy and foul type in front of myself at daily prayers. Every day, five times a day it’s

God is great. Braaaaap!
I bear witness that there none worthy of worship except God. Braaaaap
I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of God. Braaaaap
Come to prayer. Braaaaap
Come to felicity. Braaaaap
Prayer is better than sleep. Braaaaap
Our prayers are now ready. Our prayers are now ready. Braaaaap
God is great. Braaaaap
There is none worthy of worship except God. Braaaaap

There are times when I cannot hear the blessed imam for the noise and cannot see him for the tears in my eyes. The expectorations of the minister’s rectum torment me horribly, and is it not written that noisy gas is an affront to the prophet, pee be upon him?

I could stand the pain were it not for the distinctive odor of the sperm of a goat, both fresh and digested, that emanate from the minister at all times. Please remonstrate with him, else I will be forced to become a Baptist to assuage my lust.

——————————–

If you’d like to send a message of your own, a handy list of names to use can be found here, and directions for the form are here. Remember to leave us a copy!

Thanks to the folks at Fartgreetings.com for the use of their wavs.

Today, via their handy web form for cowards and informers, someone sent the Saudi Religious Police 588,604 lowercase “n”s, getting this handy error in return;

Request object error ‘ASP 0107 : 80004005′
Stack Overflow
/disapproveSubmit.asp, line 22
The data being processed is over the allowed limit.

As for me, I sent this message today.

Some badly coded webforms can crash a server if they choke on a long enough string. The website is still there, so presumably the form is coded to cut off submissions after a certain number of characters. If you would like to ask someone to make sure, try the technical contact fot the site, Hatem El Shafie.

Domain name: HESBAH.COM
Registrant:
MidEast Net
37 Kasr El Nil Street
App #55
Downtown
Cairo, Cairo 11111
EG
Administrative Contact:
El Shafie, Hatem reg2@mideastnet.com
37 Kasr El Nil Street
App #55
Downtown
Cairo, Cairo 11111
EG
202 3924354 Fax: 202 3957177
Technical Contact:
El Shafie, Hatem reg@mideastnet.com
37 Kasr El Nil Street
Suite #55
Downtown
Cairo, Cairo 11111
EG
202 3924354 Fax: 202 3957177

Presumably there are a few other questions he could be asked about why he decided to host this particular site.

I’ve spent some time going over the source code for the website, looking for an email address, but no luck yet. I’ve sent a test email to disapprove@hesbah.com, if that doesn’t bounce, we can enlist the power of Spam in the fight against the Mutaween.

If you’d like to send a message of your own, a handy list of names to use can be found here, and directions for the form are here. Remember to leave us a copy!

Update: disapprove@hesbah.com has not bounced after 4 hours, so I’m going to rule it a valid email. Now go forth and sign it up for….everything.

Here’s the message I sent to the Saudi Religious Police today, using the convenient web form they provide for the purpose of turning in heretics, free speech adherents and little girls with Barbie dolls. Feel free to adapt it as you wish, or submit your own.

Directions for submission of the web site form can be found here, and a handy list of names to use can be found below the message.

Sin reported by: Dr Fahd bin Abdulrahman bin Sulaiman Balghunaim

Location: Mecca

Balghunaim@saudi.gov.sa

Type of Sin: Other

To whom it may concern.

Whilst examining the loins of my Filipino servants for evidence of apostasy, I happened to glance out of the second story window of my compound and espy Sheikh Saleh bin Abdul Aziz bin Muhammad bin Ibrahim Al Al-Sheikh in the street below, mightily struggling to pull a glossy red women’s corset, one of the real quality ones, with a lace-up front, adjustable straps and optional garter attachments, from the hindquarters of a large pig.

The blessed imam was hampered in his attempt in that he was attempting to do so one-handed, his left hand being in possession of a half empty bottle of Grey Goose Vodka, which he alternately drank from or poured from above onto the swine’s genitalia. The revered imam was also in a state of dishabille, his robe having fallen down around his ankles. This enabled me to observe his tumescent state once I had set my telescope to its largest magnification.

Please remonstrate with the imam for me, as the stock animals are nervous for days after his one of his visits.

Peace be upon you,

Dr Fahd bin Abdulrahman bin Sulaiman Balghunaim - Minister of Agriculture

The handy list of names. Use them unstintingly!

King Fahd bin Abdul Aziz - The Prime Minister, The King
Crown Prince Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud - The First Deputy Prime Minister, Crown Prince and Commander of the National Guard
Prince Sultan bin Abdul Aziz - Second Deputy Prime Minister, Minister of Defense and Aviation and Inspector General
Dr Fahd bin Abdulrahman bin Sulaiman Balghunaim - Minister of Agriculture
Dr Muhammad bin Ali Al-Fayez - Minister of Civil Service
Dr Hashim bin Abdullah bin Hashim Al-Yamani - Minister of Commerce and Industry
Engineer Muhammad Jameel bin Ahmed Mulla - Minister of Communications and Information Technology
Dr Fouad bin Abdul Salaam bin Muhammad Al Farsy - Minister of Culture and Information
Dr Khalid bin Muhammad Al-Qusaibi - Ministry of Economy and Planning
Dr Muhammad bin Ahmed Al-Rasheed - Minister of Education
Dr Ibrahim bin Abdulaziz bin Abdullah Al-Assaf- Minister of Finance
Prince Saud Al Faisal bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud - Minister of Foreign Affairs
Dr Iyad bin Ameen Madani - Minister of Hajj
Dr Hamad bin Abdullah Al-Mane’ - Minister of Health
Dr Khalid bin Muhammad Al-Anqari - Minister of Higher Education
Prince Naif bin Abdul Aziz Al-Saud - Minister of Interior
Sheikh Saleh bin Abdul Aziz bin Muhammad bin Ibrahim Al Al-Sheikh- Minister for Islamic Affairs, Endowment, Dawa and Guidance
Dr Abdullah bin Muhammad bin Ibrahim Al Al-Sheikh- Minister of Justice
Dr Ali bin Ibrahim Al-Namlah- Minister of Labor and Social Affairs
Prince Mite’b bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud - Minister of Municipal and Rural Affairs
Engineer Ali bin Ibrahim Al-Naimi - Minister of Petroleum and Mineral Resources
Dr Jubarah bin Eid Al-Suraiseri- Minister of Transport
Dr Ghazi bin Abdulrahman Al Gosaibi - Minister of Water and Electricity
Prince Abdulaziz bin Fahd bin Abdulaziz - Minister of State, Cabinet Member, and Chief of the Court of Cabinet’s Presidency
Dr. Abdulaziz bin Abdullah Al-Khuwaiter - Minister of State
Dr. Mutlab bin Abdullah Al-Nafeesah - Minister of State and Cabinet’s Member
Dr. Musa’ed bin Mohammed Al-E’ban - Minister of State and Cabinet’s Member
Abdullah bin Ahmed bin Yosef Zainal - Minister of State and Cabinet’s Member

Make sure to send us an email of the messages, or leave a copy in the comments below. The really good ones will appear as Messages Of The Day at some future time. If I’m feeling lazy, so will the not so good ones.

And remember, every fake message sent to these…..evil bastards is one that might cause them to overlook a real one, and make a innocent Saudi a little more free.