Fat Man in the Net
In which the question is asked; Could a morbidly obese goalie shut out an NHL team?
While Trevor prepared for his grand entrance, I checked in with the Caps. Their reactions were even less encouraging than Johanna’s icy responses were. Most players wanted nothing to do with an elephantine goalie. Defenseman Ben Clymer was so ashamed of being associated with the tub that he tried to identify himself with a fake name (he used center Kris Beech’s). Winger Dainius Zubrus put it bluntly: “It would be embarrassing if there was a goalie that big.” Defenseman Steve Eminger confirmed my worst fears about how our big man would be received when he said opposing teams would simply try to run him over in the net. The Real Kris Beech had an even more depressing comment for our new star: “You might spear him and see if chocolate came out.”
But if a half-ton wonder could bring the Stanley Cup to Washington, then it sounded like everyone would be as sweet as can be. Well, barely tolerant is probably a more accurate description, but it’s a start. As Zubrus put it, “If he was dominant it’d be fine. That’s the goal, to win, right?” Beech agreed, but with a reservation: “That’d be good as long as I didn’t have to go to dinner with him.”