Adventures In Journalism: Pubic Hair Edition
In which the grooming habits of gay Canadians are somehow viewed as indicative of wider male practice.
A while back, my cousin, a B.C. logger, attended a drunken university party in Prince George. Somehow over the course of the night, most of the male revellers ended up naked. “They were all laughing at me,” my cousin says. “I’m a mess down there and they all had these perfectly groomed little triangles.”
It’s not the party nakedness that makes you gay. It’s the paying attention to all the “perfectly groomed little triangles.”
More disturbing is the implication that the narrator was uncomfortable because he was not also the owner of a perfect little triangle. For God’s sake, grow a pair of stones. Just because you’re gay Canadian is no reason to be a conformist wuss.
Though, perhaps it’s the inability to grow stones first place that leads to a Canadian wax.
The main advantage is obvious, he says. “It makes it look bigger. It’s like the rock underneath the grass when you trim your lawn. Things poke through.
There’s an idea that will win the practice adherents. “Hair removal! Just the thing for the lesser-endowed man!”