Silflay Hraka

First-born kid a tad brainier than siblings, study says.

Because I haven’t had a full physical in something like five years, my doctor suggested I have some basic blood work done when I last visited. I got the results in the mail the other day and one bit of good news is that I’m free from Hepatitis, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases starting with H, S and G. I did test positive for Rubella, but that is apparently a sign that I was immunized at some point as a child.

The other good news is that my triglyceride and cholesterol levels are incredibly low. Triglycerides are 38, HDL is 40 and LDL is 76. Total cholesterol is 124. Not bad, not bad.

Except I think I can do better. I think my HDL (good) cholesterol levels can be higher in relation to my LDL levels. So I’m embarking on an effort to raise my HDL.

Things I can do to raise my HDL cholesterol:

• Exercise more. I haven’t been running as much as I am wont to do, nor have I been hitting the gym as I used to do. An easy way to make a difference.
• Drink a glass of red wine every night. I already do this three or four nights a week which is probably why my cholesterol is low already.
• Eat a piece of dark chocolate every day. Once again, I do this already. One square of 70% – 85% dark chocolate every day.
• Drink a glass of orange juice every day. The above site suggests I could see a 21% increase in HDL over a period of four weeks. This is something I don’t do so it could make a difference.
• Eat more fish. I get two or three servings a week.
• Eat more oat bran. I eat wheat toast and wheat bread several times a week. I guess this counts. I also eat a lot of granola cereal. I don’t know if that counts or not. That’s worth a 15% increase.
• Eat half of a raw onion every day. This is not something I’m doing. I don’t know that I can. But it’s worth a 30% boost in HDL. I might try it.
• Eat a lot more fiber. I guess that means back to the apple (or three) a day.
• Eat a lot of curry. Curcurmin supplements could raise HDL 29%. At this point, I’ve lost count of how high my HDL should be. It should be at least 80 if all this stuff works. I don’t think 80 is normal for HDL. I’d be a freak of nature.
• Lastly, I could resort to taking niacin. It’s worth a 30% increase in HDL. And it makes for such lovely stories.

Anyway, the plan is to go back to the doc in three months for a full physical and see how things have changed. I’ll be sure to keep you all posted.

I was just looking at baby pictures from a co-worker when I had this brilliant idea. I tend to add captions to the photos and decided LOL Babies would be a great and logical extension to LOL Cats.

Too late.

We just put pennies on the railroad tracks.

In which the grooming habits of gay Canadians are somehow viewed as indicative of wider male practice.

A while back, my cousin, a B.C. logger, attended a drunken university party in Prince George. Somehow over the course of the night, most of the male revellers ended up naked. “They were all laughing at me,” my cousin says. “I’m a mess down there and they all had these perfectly groomed little triangles.”

It’s not the party nakedness that makes you gay. It’s the paying attention to all the “perfectly groomed little triangles.”

More disturbing is the implication that the narrator was uncomfortable because he was not also the owner of a perfect little triangle. For God’s sake, grow a pair of stones. Just because you’re gay Canadian is no reason to be a conformist wuss.

Though, perhaps it’s the inability to grow stones first place that leads to a Canadian wax.

The main advantage is obvious, he says. “It makes it look bigger. It’s like the rock underneath the grass when you trim your lawn. Things poke through.

There’s an idea that will win the practice adherents. “Hair removal! Just the thing for the lesser-endowed man!”