Also tourists, and small children. Dare County descends into unenforceable madness by banning all fireworks–including sparklers–on Hatteras Island.
Explosive or projecting fireworks, such as firecrackers and skyrockets, are illegal in North Carolina, but sparklers and glow worms are legal.
After close calls with stray sparks and careless use, Hatteras residents had pushed the county to ban all fireworks.
“Fireworks start brush fires,” George Mead, who is on the Board of Directors of the Rodanthe-Waves-Salvo Civic Association, told commissioners.
“They endanger our dunes. They threaten our homes. When you think about it, our very lives are at risk from fireworks.”
Ooooooo, scary! Mr. Mead–I would not be stunned to hear that he originally hails from an area north of our fair state–sounds very like the humorless types that eventually come to dominate most homeowner’s associations, as those groups are inevitably composed of those who love minding other people’s business, and have the time to indulge themselves doing so. He sounds very like one of Mencken’s puritans, who were famously afraid that somewhere, someone might be having a good time.
With a sparkler!
I can picture George come July 4th, standing in frenzied anticipation on his deck, sheriff’s department on speed dial, desperately looking for someone to turn in to the cops. I wouldn’t want to be a Dare County Deputy-Sheriff on the island that night for all the tea in China.
Hello, sheriff’s department? This is George Mead. I’m on the the Board of Directors of the Rodanthe-Waves-Salvo Civic Association, and I’d like to report a group of six-year-olds with sparklers on the beach. Can you come and arrest them? What do you mean you have more important things to do!? Did I mention the Board of Directors? I can make your life very unpleasant, young man. Now you come down here and you do something about these damn kids, or I will have words with the Sheriff!
I smell a group of teenagers and bottle-rockets exploding outside his windows at 2 in the morning, in Mr. Mead’s near future. It’s no more than he and his ilk deserve.
