Silflay Hraka

Also tourists, and small children. Dare County descends into unenforceable madness by banning all fireworks–including sparklers–on Hatteras Island.

Explosive or projecting fireworks, such as firecrackers and skyrockets, are illegal in North Carolina, but sparklers and glow worms are legal.

“They endanger our dunes. They threaten our homes. When you think about it, our very lives are at risk from fireworks.”

Ooooooo, scary! Mr. Mead–I would not be stunned to hear that he originally hails from an area north of our fair state–sounds very like the humorless types that eventually come to dominate most homeowner’s associations, as those groups are inevitably composed of those who love minding other people’s business, and have the time to indulge themselves doing so. He sounds very like one of Mencken’s puritans, who were famously afraid that somewhere, someone might be having a good time.

With a sparkler!

I can picture George come July 4th, standing in frenzied anticipation on his deck, sheriff’s department on speed dial, desperately looking for someone to turn in to the cops. I wouldn’t want to be a Dare County Deputy-Sheriff on the island that night for all the tea in China.

Hello, sheriff’s department? This is George Mead. I’m on the the Board of Directors of the Rodanthe-Waves-Salvo Civic Association, and I’d like to report a group of six-year-olds with sparklers on the beach. Can you come and arrest them? What do you mean you have more important things to do!? Did I mention the Board of Directors? I can make your life very unpleasant, young man. Now you come down here and you do something about these damn kids, or I will have words with the Sheriff!

I smell a group of teenagers and bottle-rockets exploding outside his windows at 2 in the morning, in Mr. Mead’s near future. It’s no more than he and his ilk deserve.

Via LTC Bob, our source for Iraqi avifauna and soon-to-be-deployed-again correspondent, General Petraeus’ March 15th note to the troops in Iraq. Though it’s available elsewhere on the web, it’s always in .pdf form, and so not as searchable as it would otherwise be. Also, I hate frigging .pdfs.

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If it’s Wednesday, it must be time for the Carnival of the Vanities. Since I didn’t finish the carny last night as I am wont to do, I’ll have to squeeze it into my day somehow. I would save it for this evening but I’ll be watching Molly Ringwald in “Sweet Charity” with a friend of mine. (That Girl. Current status: on speaking terms. I hesitate to guess what the status will be next week. But for now we have free tickets to the Fox Theater and that’s okay.)

This week’s carny is rather short and since I am having to squeeze it in, will probably go unthemed. In order to get this thing up, let’s go ahead and get started.

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Marsha Hudnall presents Study Shows Diets — Once Again — Aren’t the Best Weight Loss Program. I think the definition of “diet” is key. If you define diet as a short-term adjustment to what you eat, it’s going to fail. If you define diet as a permanent adjustment to what and how you eat, it’s more likely to succeed. People seem shocked that they lose weight when they change their eating patterns only to put it back on when they go back to eating what they used to eat. What did they think was going to happen? Stay thin eating the same old crap they used to eat?

Adam gives us New Media Economics. It’s all about supply and demand in the blogosphere. I think there is a dividing line between the micro and macro-economics of the situation needed, but don’t have time to delve into it. If you have time and energy, please feel free…

Broc Copeland presents 3 Ways to Market Blogs Using MyBlogLog. You’ll note there is no link to this story. That’s because Broc’s third way to market your blog is to basically spam someone else’s blog comments. I think all comment spammers should die. They will get no link love from me or this carny.

Bull Jones sings Oops! The VA did it again!. I have a good friend working for the VA in NC. She was overwhelmed with calls the last time they lost personal data. Guess she’s dealing with it again.

GrrlScientist presents Living the Scientific Life (Scientist, Interrupted): God: The Failed Hypothesis. Somebody somewhere wrote a book that God couldn’t possibly exist and tested it “scientifically”. I think it’s the case of supporting what you set out to prove rather than looking objectively at the evidence. For my money, God exists and He has blessed me much. So there.

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Taxing Times. I guess it’s time to do my taxes, even though it’s not April. I don’t know why I always delay. It only takes me about an hour and I always seem to get money back. I’m a procrastinator, I guess.

Pushpa Sathish presents Doing Business in India: 20 Cultural Norms You Need to Know. Pushpa is my kind of business blogger. This is the kind of thing that is a.) not obvious and b.) actually useful. Good job, Pushpa.

Alan K. Henderson gives us a set of sci-fi governments in Presidential Administrations: The Good, The Bad, And The Lost. Captain Kirk doesn’t get an office in the sci-fi government? C’mon!

Mama Duck gives tips on Using toddler energy for a cleaner house… I always suggest using a toddler to clean the house. You just attach a handle and push them around the floor.

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And that’s it for this week’s carny. Just in time too. I gotta’ get out of here to pick up my date for the evening. I and the Carnival of the Vanities will return next week. If you’d like to submit a post for CoTV consideration, please do so through Blog Carnival. See you next week!

For the saddest Google search I’ve seen all year.

Spot the moving parts – this disturbed me greatly.

Head downtown and turn in your penis – We all know who this is about.

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