Adventures In Journalism: Aaaaaaaaadrian!
Some thoughts that surfaced while I wasted five minutes of my life reading gossip about Sylvester Stallone, of all people. Before long, I’ll have descended so far into moral opprobrium that I’ll start linking to panty-less Britney photos.
All I want is a classy chassis.’ Speaking in that inimitable Italian-American nasal voice straight from New York’s famously tough Hell’s Kitchen district where he grew up, Sylvester Stallone pronounced “classy” to rhyme with “sassy.”
There’s some other way?
Stallone looked wrinkled and overweight on the Rocky promotional tour
Yet he was so manly I skipped a period!
Stallone was on the threshold of becoming famous. And it did not take much imagination to see why. His sculpted upper arms bulged out of his tank top and the muscles in his rippling racehorse thighs clearly showed beneath a figurehugging pair of grey track bottoms.
Which is it, “wrinkled and overweight” or “rippling racehorse thighs” and “figurehugging pair of grey track bottoms?” Also, gay much? Also, “figurehugging?”
“A lot of punishing hours and selfdiscipline must have gone into honing this superb bodywork, I reflected.”
Why in the world would an editor allow a first person point of view in an article that has no byline? Or to spell “self-discipline” like that? I suspect there’s an ESL class somewhere in the writer’s recent past.
“I look at my body as a wheelbarrow to haul around my mind,” he said.
I look at my body as a 13 year old Dodge Omni with a bad paint job and questionable suspension to haul around my mind. Also, the wife tells me the emissions system needs serious work. Yet it’s still a better vehicle that a wheelbarrow. The only thing one hauls around in a wheelbarrow is crap meant for the rubbish heap.
The body, the brain, the sentimental script and naked ambition, not to mention, we always thought, the punishing drive, scored a couple of Oscars for his now legendary creation, Rocky.
“A couple” is two, not three. No wonder “journalistic accuracy” has become a oxymoron.
However, there is also a maximum tariff of five years in jail for its possession.
That word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
For in starring in a sixth Rocky movie, he astounded his public.
Is that you, Carolan?
Far from resorting to hormones to achieve the sculpted physique for which he is famous, his methods focus on a body-enhancing protein diet, or as he colourfully puts it: “I eat anything with a face on it.”
As for eating the faceless–that’s right out. The man has standards, after all.
He even has his own food company producing a protein pudding…
He’ll gladly show you the milking machines.