Ngnat and I viewed the previous lunar eclipse from the comfort of the driveway, but the moon was much lower in the sky tonight than it was 2.5 years ago, denying us the–admittedly spare–comforts of a blanket on the driveway. Instead we walked down to the end of the street and joined the group of neighbors gathered there, watching the dark circle in the sky until the kids got bored.
Then, having killed thirty seconds or so, I pointed out the rest of the evening’s highlights to Scotty M.
“There’s Orion.”
“Wyan.”
“And the Pleiades.”
“Peadeez.”
“And there’s Venus.”
“PENIS!”
Merriment ensued in the group around us, to my embarrassment. I attempted to rally. “No, son. V. Venus. Va, va, va, Venus.”
“va, va, va, PENIS!”
More mirth, which of course encouraged the boy to revise and extend his remarks.
“PENIS! PENIS! PENIS!” he declared, stamping his foot on the ground for emphasis. I stared, befuddled. Why the sudden emphasis on genitals?
“PENIS!”
“He’s just like his father,” the wife informed the increasingly appreciative throng.
“PENIS!”
I gave up correcting Scotty’s planetary nomenclature as a bad job, but couldn’t let the wife’s jab pass without attempting riposte.
“PENIS!”
“What’s your mommy like more than anything else, Scotty?” I asked.
He ceased his stamping, crossed his arms. “Ice cweam,” he informed me with immense dignity.
Hilarity all round, and I retired from the field in confusion and disorder.
