Silflay Hraka

So I had a reaaaally long weekend. First, my cousin and his wife come to Atlanta on Friday. They want to meet out for drinks in Decatur. It’s about 20 minutes away but I’m game. I get there and they want me to stay in their hotel room with them rather than drive home that night. I tell them I’ll think about it but I’d rather just not drink that much and sleep in my own bed.

Yeah. We went to a place called “Twains” and close the place down after playing shuffleboard for a few hours. I wake up at 10:00 a.m. the next morning, flat on my back and fully clothed, just as I’d passed out at 4:00 a.m. I blame it on the cousin’s wife, who wouldn’t stop bringing me “Purple Hooter” shooters even when I begged her to quit. It takes me breakfast and three cups of coffee before I even feel vaguely human. I remember waking up thinking “I’m a horrible father.”

I don’t have any kids.

I nearly crap myself on the way home.

Saturday my friend Stav comes to town. I have to show he and his girlfriend a good time while they are in Atlanta. We start at Five Seasons brewpub and end up at the Irish Pub, Fado. I have to drink beer at Five Seasons because it’s a brewpub. That Girl makes me drink something called an Irish Car Bomb just because we’re at an Irish Pub. Thankfully, friend Fiorella is pregnant and has to go home. This gets me home at 2:30 rather than 4:00.

Sunday I wake up dreading the New Year. I don’t want to go out any more, but I must. I hear the voice of Han Solo in my head. “I feel horrible…and they didn’t even ask me any questions.”

Sunday night starts late. We arrive at East Andrews Pub at 10:30 after circling the block for half-an-hour looking for the place. I nurse a pair of beers over the next hour and a half before nursing a small bottle of champagne. Balloons full of money fall from the sky and I, being of average height but above average intelligence, climb the trellis to make sure I get one with money in it. I end the evening at 2:30 a.m. five dollars richer than I’d been.

I don’t move at all on Monday. Not.at.all.

And I’m still dragging ass today. But I did read all the carnival entries.

***

Lots of New Year’s related posts for this week’s Carnival. Some look back and some look ahead and some just give advice on what you should be doing with yourself now that another arbitrary holiday has come and gone.

First, the retrospectives: Leon Gettler looks back at the Top 10 business shenanigans for 2006. “Shenanigans! I call shenanigans!”

Joel looks back on the career of former Florida governor Jeb Bush. I don’t think he’s a fan. Decide for yourself. Heckuva job, Jebbie posted at In Theory.

Sarakastic fondly remembers the time she built a Bjork snowperson and gives us A step by step tutorial on how to build your own. Bjork. Bjork. B.jork. Funny name.

Simonne navel gazes in true blogger fashion and gives us the All Tips and Tricks: Most Viewed Articles in 2006. What was SH’s most viewed article of 2006? Couldn’t tell you.

And for our last look back at 2006, Nina reminds us that we probably all just built Self-Esteem on Borrowed Credit. Like we more reminders. Thanks, Nina.

Looking ahead to 2007, Jon Swift, gives us Jon Swift’s Predictions for 2007. He was four of eight at the beginning of 2006. Making a prediction of my own, I’m going to suggest that someone from either the Democratic or Republican parties will be elected President of the United States in November. Write it down. I’m well-known in certain circles for my psychic powers. They don’t call me Xavier for nothin’.

Depressingly enough, I have another prediction to make and it involves me having veeery few dates in the coming year. Maybe I’m just channeling Dawn Xiana Moon who crunches some numbers and explains “Why I Will Never Have a Boyfriend”. Strangely, I hear Han Solo’s voice again. “Never tell me the odds!”

The remainder of the Carnival deals with tips on being that better you you’ve resolved to be this year.

Wayne Hurlbert says you should develop Self confidence: Practice achievement. Can you do it? I doubt it.

Patricia says Start A New Habit Or Break A Bad One: Ten Steps To Guarantee Success For Anyone.

David E. pretty much agrees with her and gives almost the same Ten Tips For Achieving Success With Your New Year’s Resolutions.

My resolution for the New Year? I resolve to be less sarcastic while blogging the Carnival of the Vanities. Come back and read it each Wednesday here on this blog and judge whether I’m successful or not. I feel like it might be a struggle.

If you’d like to participate in the Carnival of the Vanities in the future, submit your posts at Blog Carnival. I won’t promise you that you’re post will appear in this space but I can promise you…

Well, I can’t promise you anything but I wish you a happy 2007. See you next week.

Go Deacs!