From The Mouse That Roared, written in 1955.
“The fact is that there are few more profitable undertakings for a country in need of money than to declare war on the United States and be defeated. Hardly an acre of land is forfeited in such wars.”
“It is usually agreed, to be sure, that heavy industries and other installations and activities which could be used in future wars are to be dismantled, destroyed and their re-establishment banned. And it usually evolves that this is not done, because it is decided to follow such a plan would either wreck the economy of the defeated nation, or make it incapable of defending itself against other foes. In either or both cases, the Americans would feel called upon, such is their peculiar nature, to help out at their own expense.”
“Again, it is usually decided that the nation and people which lose to the United States shall be made to suffer national and individual hardship for the aggression. And the ink is no sooner dry on such agreements than the United States is rushing food, machinery, clothing, money, building materials and technical aid to the relief of its former foes.”
“Once more, it is always laid down that the defeated armies must be disbanded and never again be allowed to reform. But, a little later, it is discovered that these armies are in an oblique but nonetheless definite manner essential to the security of the United States itself. Either the defeated enemy must h ave an army and nave and air force of its own, or the Americans must remain there in an indefinite occupation.
“Americans, particularly American soldiers, do not like to remain long outside their own country. And in a matter of months, or at the most years, the United States is first requesting and then begging its former enemies to raise an army to defend their own territory. It is not unheard of that these defeated foes are able to state the terms under which they will raise an army for their own policing and defense. Those terms have involved the payments of large sums of money b y the United States, or the extension of generous credits, revision of trade agreements in favor of the defeated nation, return of shipping, rehabilitation of factories destroyed in the war, and even the gift of equipment needed for the army.
“All in all, as I said before, there is no more profitable and sound step for a nation without money or credit to take, than declare war on the United States and suffer a total defeat.” She smiled indulgently at the two of them.
Count Mountjoy, who had commenced listening to the discourse as if h e were hearing a sentence of doom pronounced, was, when it ended, filled with lively interest.
“Why,” he exclaimed, “the plan has possibilities that border on brilliant. We declare war on Monday, are vanquished Tuesday, and rehabilitated beyond our wildest dreams by Friday night.”
In what might be called the mother of all surprises, Iraq’s economy is growing strong, even booming in places.
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