Archive for September, 2003

Trusting The Arab

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30th, 2003 by Kehaar – 1 Comment

The Arabs are upset. I know, I know. The sun rises, the tides come in, and the Arabs feel slighted. Every day since October 7th, 1571 has seen the same story retold. Why should today be any different?

The latest lament is about the special status of Israel, surely the most favored nation on earth, one beloved the world over, which is why it gets away with so much.

Nope, there’s nothing the U.N. likes to do more than let the Jews slide when it comes to international law, and the Arabs are getting tired of that country’s exalted status. Why is it, they are wondering, that Israel gets a pass when it comes to nuclear weapons, yet everyone gets their panties in a wad every time an inspector finds the tiniest bit of enriched uranium in a Middle Eastern country?

read more »

Shock Leader Knot

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30th, 2003 by Kehaar – Comments Off

Returning Spam from Whence it Came

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30th, 2003 by Bigwig – Comments Off

I just received this spam from somebody who really seems to want to help me make money……..oh wait, I mean really wants to take my money. I would just like to encourage all of you to please write this person a sarcastic, evil, mean, whatever email and perhaps clog up his email like he is clogging up ours.

STRICTLY URGENT/CONFIDENTIAL

Please reply to kennethmaputo@excite.com

Date: 30/09/03

Dear Sir,

I am Mr. Kenneth Maputo, a native of Cape Town in South Africa and I am an executive Accountant with the South Africa Department of Transport.

First and foremost, I apologize using this medium to reach you for a transaction/business of this magnitude, but this is due to confidentiality and prompt access reposed on this medium. Be informed that I got your enviable credentials/particulars from the internet.

I have decided to seek a confidential co-operation with you in the execution of the deal described hereunder for the benefit of all parties and hope you will keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction.

Within the Department of Transport where I work as an Executive Accountant and with the co-operation of four other top officials, we have in our possession an overdue payment bills totalling Twenty – Six Million, Four Hundred and twenty six Thousand U. S. Dollars (US$26,426,000.00) which we want to transfer abroad with the assistance and co-operation of a foreign company/individual to receive the said fund on our behalf or a reliable foreign non-company account to receive such funds. More so, we are handicapped in this circumstance, as the South Africa Civil Service Code of Conduct does not allow us to operate foreign account hence your importance in the whole transaction.

This amount (US$26.426m) represents the balance of the total contract value executed on behalf of my Department by a foreign contracting firm, which we the officials over-invoiced deliberately. Though the actual contract cost have been paid to the original contractor, leaving the balance in the tune of the said amount which we have in principles got approval to remit by Telegraphic Transfer (T.T) to any foreign bank account you will provide by going through the Justice Ministry here in South Africa for the transfer of rites and privileges of the former contractor to you.

I have the authority of my partners involved to propose that should you be willing to assist us in the transaction, your share of the sum will be 25% of the US$26.426 million, 70% for us and 5% for taxation and miscellaneous expenses. The business itself is 100% safe and risk free, on your part provided you treat it with utmost secrecy and confidentiality. Also, your area of specialization is not a hindrance to the successful execution of this transaction. I have reposed my confidence in you and hope that you will not disappoint me.

Endeavour to contact me immediately through this email address or my alternative email preferably kennethmaputo@excite.com, whether or not you are interested in this deal. If you are not, it will enable me scout for another foreign partner to carry out this deal. I want to assure you that myself and my partners are in a position to make the payment of this claim possible provided you can give us a very strong assurance and guarantee that our share will be secured and please remember to treat this matter as a very confidential matter, because we will not comprehend with any form of exposure as we are still in active Government Service and remember once again that time is of great essence in this business.

I wait in anticipation of your fullest co-operation.

Yours faithfully,

Mr. Kenneth Maputo.

I wrote him a response:

Dear Mr. Maputo:

I have a deal for you as well. I would like a boat and I would like for you to pay for it. For the small sum of just $10,000, I will act like I am your friend and buy a boat for myself and never invite you out on it. I can’t wait to begin this transaction. Please send me money today or else I won’t be your buddy and hang out with you.

Your truest friend,

Woundwort

Message of the Day, 9/29/2003

Posted in Message of the Day on September 29th, 2003 by Kehaar – Be the first to comment

Today, via their handy web form for cowards and informers, I sent the Saudi Religious Police the following message:

From: Chaka Khan Chaka Khan
City: Riyadh
Email: Letmerockyou@hesbah.com
Sin: Goat kidnapping, well, practically goat kidnapping

Greetings be upon you, holy fighters in the war ‘gainst the inanimate platiscine diversions of children. I commend you for your vigilance, for without your efforts, the name of Allah, Allah, Allah, Bo Ballah Bonana, Fanna, Fo Fallah Fee, Fy, Mo Mallah Allah! would be unknown in our land, so small and ineffectual a god is he.

read more »

The Assman Cometh

Posted in Uncategorized on September 29th, 2003 by Kehaar – 1 Comment

Whoa.
link via Andy, like he needs the traffic

Ferry Reservations

Posted in Uncategorized on September 29th, 2003 by Icehole – Comments Off

Cedar Island still not taking reservations as of morning 9/29. I guess they are waiting on official word that OI is opening on a specific date before they start booking again. I was told to call back end of week and maybe things will have changed. If anyone else still needs reservation and is able to get one, please post your success!! Thanks!

Spider Babies

Posted in Parental on September 29th, 2003 by Kehaar – 1 Comment

Carolina Wolf Spider – Female

I spotted Charlotte here in the garage about five this afternoon, when I came in to get my wallet for a quick trip to the hardware store. I’d been mowing the smallish field that lies below the hill at the back of the yard and run into a hidden stump, bending the blade of the “less than a month old” lawnmower, as the Sainted Wife repeatedly pointed out, beyond repair. My protestations that replacement blades were cheap fell on deaf ears, so I changed the subject, not to mention the participant.

“Would you like to see some spider babies?” I asked Ngnat, who had been observing my dressing down with some interest.

The answer was of course positive, as Ngnat has had babies on the brain ever since Scotty M joined us. Even SW was sufficiently intrigued to cease, at least temporarily, her incessant observations on the tender age of our lawn care equipment, though that concern was replaced with another when it became apparent that the spider babies were less than a foot from the door of the kitchen.

“You see how lumpy that spider’s rear end is?” I asked Ngnat and her suddenly skittish mother. “Every one of those lumps is a baby. She carries them around on her back until they are grown up enough to go off by themselves. There might be as many as two hundred there.”

Ngnat has no idea of how large any number is above after about six, so the final observation was meant entirely for the benefit of her mother. Sainted wife, being no fool when it comes to the eternal gavotte* between husband and wife, rewarded me with an appropriate glare, but took no other action. She then returned her attention to the spider, which maintained an admirable stillness and equanimity in the face of Ngnat’s……face, which had come to a stop about six inches way. I forebore mentioning that the spider could easily jump onto Ngnat’s face from that distance, had she the desire.

“Spider babies,” Ngnat declaimed. She then stumped back up the steps to the kitchen, and departed, as did the Sainted wife, who expressed a fervent hope that the spider babies and their mother would be relocated at some point in time.

That was about five hours ago. When I checked in on them before closing down the house for the night, Spider Mom and family had moved a few inches down the garage steps, fulfilling, at least for me, the technicalities involved in “relocation.”

That’s when I took the picture above. For a cheap ass and by now long obsolete piece of equipment, the digital camera Ngnat’s Nana and G-daddy presented us with upon the occasion of her birth did a pretty decent job of caputuring the family Lycosidae for posterity. Still, there are better pictures of wolf spider mothers and the babes they carry. You can see one of them here.

As I told Ngnat, all the lumps on the rear end of the spider are children, though not necessarily the offspring of the mother pictured in either photograph.

The young, unless brushed off, sit where they are, but in dangerous situations they alight of their own accord. One such dangerous situation is when two wolf mothers come face to face. In such an event there will be no friendly discussion about the care of the children: there will simply be a fight. The children themselves realise this and lose no time in dismounting and making themselves scarce. Peering from cover, they then watch a fight that is no kid-gloved affair.

Eventually one panting matron stands over the other. Fabre has recorded such a fight and shown us the victorious one holding down her opponent, gripping her with her legs and pressing down on her belly. Amongst female spiders no quarter is given or expected. The prone one spits viciously and the other one waits her time to avoid those snapping jaws and bite into the brain.

Fabre also relates how, after the coup de grace had been given and the conqueress was eating her opponent, all the children came forth from hiding and climbed onto her back. And there they sat until mother–for she was “mother” now to all of them–had finished her meal.

It follows therefore that a matron, if a good fighter, may go out with her own children in the morning and come back in the evening carrying three lots packed several tiers deep.

Three is the limit. Fabre experimented and managed to get three loads on to one mother’s back but could not manage a fourth. The mother herself raised no objection, but the load became so top-heavy and swayed when the mother moved so that those perched on the summit fell off.

—-from John Crompton’s The Spider

I’m planning on teaching Ngnat a new song tomorrow, if Charlotte and her brood are still around.

Spider mom, spider mom
Does her thing, with aplomb.
She has got, lots of eyes
she eats bugs, she eats flies
Look out!
Here comes the spider mom.

Then I’ll make sure she sings it for her mother.

*Yes, tarantella would fit in with the theme, but I rejected that notion as overly contrived. Besides, gavotte really was the first thing that sprang to mind.

Meanwhile, in the Warren

Posted in Uncategorized on September 27th, 2003 by Kehaar – Comments Off

Did we say cancer? We meant canker.

The state Division of Child and Family Services, caught unaware by the announcement, could only sniff that all the test results were not in, and they would do nothing until they receive the doctor’s official recommendations. But the results were the worst news for an agency that has already suffered alot of negative publicity for this and other heavy-handed excesses. Indeed, the agency has squandered what little support it had among Utahns, and the Legislature is considering implementing serious reforms.

Fishing News

Posted in Uncategorized on September 27th, 2003 by Kehaar – Comments Off

Post hurricane satellite photos of Cape Hatteras and Ocracoke Island, and a theory on how to find holes in the outer sandbar after a hurricane, at Fishin’, Drinkin’, Stinkin’.

New Satellite Photos

Posted in Uncategorized on September 27th, 2003 by Kehaar – 1 Comment

Chris Brown led me to these via Debra. Thanks, you two. I owe ya’ll a beer at Howard’s if we ever get onto the island.

A directory containing all the photos taken can be seen here. Here’s a map of the area each one shows.

The same information for Hatteras is here. The top three links are maps. The bottom link contains the pictures. The new inlet photo is here.

The House

Click on pic for source photo (Caution: Source Photo is frigging huge.)

Damned if I can figure out how to get there, or how many cars we can park there. Best I can tell the road is either to the left, under the trees, or to the right, and flooded.

But once we get there, it looks as if the channel is reachable from all of the end and the entire right side of the pier. The big hole Mason noticed off the point is still there as well, say a couple of house lengths off the point.

And we’re isolated as hell, so Clifffffffff’s snoring won’t keep the neighbors awake.

The South Point

Click on pic for source photo (Caution: Source Photo is frigging huge.)

Last year to reach the part of the point we fished from we had to wait for the tide to go out. It would appear that Isabel has re-arranged the point so that the low spot that held us up has disappeared. Or perhaps the point is all low spot now, though the visible tide line leads me to think that this is not so.

If you look at the source photo, there’s an area of dark sand just to the north of the inlet–the very tip end of it appears in the picture above. Just below it is where the inlet channel comes in closest to the shore. We should be able to use the darkened sand as a landmark to get to it, assuming we get there early enough in the day to claim the spot.

As far as the rest of the beach, there are a couple of spots near the airport road that look good as well. I think once we’re on the beach those holes and others like them will be more obvious than they have been in a long time. Take a look at the other photos of the beach north of the point and see if you notice anything.

To my eye, almost without fail, wherever there is an obvious overwash of sand into the vegetation, there is a corresponding break in the outer sandbar opposite. My theory is that when the storm surge came ashore it would have been more powerful in places where there was a break in the bar, so it would hit the beach with more force, carrying sand further inland.

Now, not only are those breaks made more obvious by the large fingers of sand washed inland, but the force of Isabel should also have deepened and widened them, and there’s been no weather since to erode sand back into the gaps, though the normal action of the tides may have reduced them somewhat.

If we want to fish the beach, we just need to drive along the edge of the vegetation until we see a big ass overwash, then turn to the sea.