Silflay Hraka

Ellen at AMCGLTD (no, I don’t know what it means, and I have the sinking feeling that I ought to, too. I keep trying to figure it out, but the American Movie Channel Gives Lesbian Thirty Dollars acronym is stuck in my head and refuses to leave.) writes about bed farts.

One of the disadvantages of being a short chick is that when you spoon your husband, his ass is way too fucking close to your head. It’s not like you get this great ripping whomp noise, like a Mexican riceburner on a bad day after Paco’s brother forgot to tighten up the muffler brackets on that “gives you extra 50 horsepower” coffee can muffler. It’s more of this silent, yet deadly, effect, like the hiss of a mustard gas canister into a muddy trench after you’ve loaned your gasmask to the guy who went over the side and never came back.

Yes, it’s a subject close to my soul. I once woke a girlfriend up in the middle of the night by throwing the covers over her head and screaming “Gas Attack!”

God, I’m a quality individual. Not my fault, entirely. I learned it from Woundwort.

Miss World 2002 - Moral Division

Look! A beauty contestant with a brain! And, um…other assets!

And as long as we’re handing out awards

Miss World 2002 Official Title Whore, First Runner Up - Pamela Camassa, Miss Italy!
Miss World 2002 Official Title Whore - Sofia Hedmark, Miss Sweden!

When dreidels are outlawed, only outlaws will have dreidels.

The UN completes another successful inspection.

A Bug?s Life

Being a dad is pretty awesome. Being the dad of a little girl is somewhat frightening. I know it is stereotypical to think that girls need to be protected, and that guys can engage in certain behaviors and get away with it while girls can?t do the same things with an equal amount of freedom. I know that the genders should be raised similarly and that girls should be treated equally????.but I have my doubts that it is going to happen. That is fine for other girls, but this one is MY GIRL.

There are a number of things I have noticed since becoming a dad that I did not take note of before. First, you receive absolutely NO TRAINING at all for the role. For some reason, all my years of drinking heavily and abusing my body did not prepare me for the role of being a parent. I am amazed that I walked into the hospital an ordinary guy, and walked out with another dependent. They don?t ask questions or do any type of background check. I was grilled more when I went to get a new driver?s license than I was when I became a dad. I am not suggesting that this procedure (or lack thereof) be changed, I guess I was just hoping that I would magically become smarter or better prepared to take care of someone else. I needed instructions to be included, but could find none.

I also find it fascinating how children get nicknames from parents. There must be a rule that I have not heard of which states that all parents must give their kid a nickname that somehow relates to nature. Bigwig?s kid is Ngnat, relating to nature, while ours is Bug, or more formally, The Bug. We spent so much time thinking over names for the child, yet I call her by this name (which just came out as an extension of her own name) more than the one we worked on so diligently.

One the best things about having a kid is that they literally provide an endless supply of things to laugh about. Ours is talking now???.A LOT, and what comes out of her mouth at times give me a window into my own personality, since I am being confronted with my own words as she repeats what I have said. I was changing her diaper a number of months ago when it was obvious that she was aware of her????..femaleness.

?Wha dis da-da?,? she asked.

I didn?t know what to say. There is a lot of pressure to think that I am about to give her the name she will forever use when talking about her???..region.

I smiled and replied, ?That?s your coochie.?

It just came out. Perhaps I should have given it more thought, but I was pressured and came out with a name that certainly is better than some of my options. That got the ball rolling.

?Dat?s my cooch,? she said.

?Yes baby, that?s your cooch.?

?Mama?s cooch,? she continued.

?Okay,? I said, seeing that she was understanding and wanting the conversation to end.

?Da-da?s cooch,? she offered.

What the hell should I do? Do I try to explain the differences between males and females to a 14 month old? I did what I thought was best???

?Yes babe, da-da?s cooch.?

Each time the subject came up I confessed to having a cooch. It is quite possible that she will paying for therapy when she gets older because she thinks that her dad has a cooch, and she is too nervous to ask me about it. I can hear the conversations with her friends as she gets older.

?What,? she will say, ?your dad doesn?t have a coochie??

Dear God, spare me the humiliation. I may become known as the ?Crying Game Father?, or the ?Sleepaway Camp Dad? (did anyone see that?). Perhaps it would be easier if I would go ahead and actually get one surgically placed there????.on second thought, that would cause all sorts of problems (my friends might be calling me all the time asking to come visit).

Now the Bug likes to tell me, ?Good job? for everything I do. I get her juice, ?Good job.? I change her diaper, ?Good job.? I take a leak in the other room, ?Good job, da-da.?

The other day I saw her standing with her finger up her nose. I asked, “What are you doing?”

“Geh booga, da-da.” Damn, when did I say booger?

Last night she said, ?I poo-poo, da-da.? So I went into the other room, took off her diaper to find???.nothing.

A bit irritated for going to the trouble I said, ?You didn?t poop. There isn?t anything here.?

?Yep,? she said, ?jus gas.?

Kids rock.

A Bug?s Life

Being a dad is pretty awesome. Being the dad of a little girl is somewhat frightening. I know it is stereotypical to think that girls need to be protected, and that guys can engage in certain behaviors and get away with it while girls can?t do the same things with an equal amount of freedom. I know that the genders should be raised similarly and that girls should be treated equally????.but I have my doubts that it is going to happen. That is fine for other girls, but this one is MY GIRL.

There are a number of things I have noticed since becoming a dad that I did not take note of before. First, you receive absolutely NO TRAINING at all for the role. For some reason, all my years of drinking heavily and abusing my body did not prepare me for the role of being a parent. I am amazed that I walked into the hospital an ordinary guy, and walked out with another dependent. They don?t ask questions or do any type of background check. I was grilled more when I went to get a new driver?s license than I was when I became a dad. I am not suggesting that this procedure (or lack thereof) be changed, I guess I was just hoping that I would magically become smarter or better prepared to take care of someone else. I needed instructions to be included, but could find none.

I also find it fascinating how children get nicknames from parents. There must be a rule that I have not heard of which states that all parents must give their kid a nickname that somehow relates to nature. Bigwig?s kid is Ngnat, relating to nature, while ours is Bug, or more formally, The Bug. We spent so much time thinking over names for the child, yet I call her by this name (which just came out as an extension of her own name) more than the one we worked on so diligently.

One the best things about having a kid is that they literally provide an endless supply of things to laugh about. Ours is talking now???.A LOT, and what comes out of her mouth at times give me a window into my own personality, since I am being confronted with my own words as she repeats what I have said. I was changing her diaper a number of months ago when it was obvious that she was aware of her????..femaleness.

?Wha dis da-da?,? she asked.

I didn?t know what to say. There is a lot of pressure to think that I am about to give her the name she will forever use when talking about her???..region.

I smiled and replied, ?That?s your coochie.?

It just came out. Perhaps I should have given it more thought, but I was pressured and came out with a name that certainly is better than some of my options. That got the ball rolling.

?Dat?s my cooch,? she said.

?Yes baby, that?s your cooch.?

?Mama?s cooch,? she continued.

?Okay,? I said, seeing that she was understanding and wanting the conversation to end.

?Da-da?s cooch,? she offered.

What the hell should I do? Do I try to explain the differences between males and females to a 14 month old? I did what I thought was best???

?Yes babe, da-da?s cooch.?

Each time the subject came up I confessed to having a cooch. It is quite possible that she will paying for therapy when she gets older because she thinks that her dad has a cooch, and she is too nervous to ask me about it. I can hear the conversations with her friends as she gets older.

?What,? she will say, ?your dad doesn?t have a coochie??

Dear God, spare me the humiliation. I may become known as the ?Crying Game Father?, or the ?Sleepaway Camp Dad? (did anyone see that?). Perhaps it would be easier if I would go ahead and actually get one surgically placed there????.on second thought, that would cause all sorts of problems (my friends might be calling me all the time asking to come visit).

Now the Bug likes to tell me, ?Good job? for everything I do. I get her juice, ?Good job.? I change her diaper, ?Good job.? I take a leak in the other room, ?Good job, da-da.?

The other day I saw her standing with her finger up her nose. I asked, “What are you doing?”

“Geh booga, da-da.” Damn, when did I say booger?

Last night she said, ?I poo-poo, da-da.? So I went into the other room, took off her diaper to find???.nothing.

A bit irritated for going to the trouble I said, ?You didn?t poop. There isn?t anything here.?

?Yep,? she said, ?jus gas.?

Kids rock.

A Bug?s Life

Being a dad is pretty awesome. Being the dad of a little girl is somewhat frightening. I know it is stereotypical to think that girls need to be protected, and that guys can engage in certain behaviors and get away with it while girls can?t do the same things with an equal amount of freedom. I know that the genders should be raised similarly and that girls should be treated equally????.but I have my doubts that it is going to happen. That is fine for other girls, but this one is MY GIRL.

There are a number of things I have noticed since becoming a dad that I did not take note of before. First, you receive absolutely NO TRAINING at all for the role. For some reason, all my years of drinking heavily and abusing my body did not prepare me for the role of being a parent. I am amazed that I walked into the hospital an ordinary guy, and walked out with another dependent. They don?t ask questions or do any type of background check. I was grilled more when I went to get a new driver?s license than I was when I became a dad. I am not suggesting that this procedure (or lack thereof) be changed, I guess I was just hoping that I would magically become smarter or better prepared to take care of someone else. I needed instructions to be included, but could find none.

I also find it fascinating how children get nicknames from parents. There must be a rule that I have not heard of which states that all parents must give their kid a nickname that somehow relates to nature. Bigwig?s kid is Ngnat, relating to nature, while ours is Bug, or more formally, The Bug. We spent so much time thinking over names for the child, yet I call her by this name (which just came out as an extension of her own name) more than the one we worked on so diligently.

One the best things about having a kid is that they literally provide an endless supply of things to laugh about. Ours is talking now???.A LOT, and what comes out of her mouth at times give me a window into my own personality, since I am being confronted with my own words as she repeats what I have said. I was changing her diaper a number of months ago when it was obvious that she was aware of her????..femaleness.

?Wha dis da-da?,? she asked.

I didn?t know what to say. There is a lot of pressure to think that I am about to give her the name she will forever use when talking about her???..region.

I smiled and replied, ?That?s your coochie.?

It just came out. Perhaps I should have given it more thought, but I was pressured and came out with a name that certainly is better than some of my options. That got the ball rolling.

?Dat?s my cooch,? she said.

?Yes baby, that?s your cooch.?

?Mama?s cooch,? she continued.

?Okay,? I said, seeing that she was understanding and wanting the conversation to end.

?Da-da?s cooch,? she offered.

What the hell should I do? Do I try to explain the differences between males and females to a 14 month old? I did what I thought was best???

?Yes babe, da-da?s cooch.?

Each time the subject came up I confessed to having a cooch. It is quite possible that she will paying for therapy when she gets older because she thinks that her dad has a cooch, and she is too nervous to ask me about it. I can hear the conversations with her friends as she gets older.

?What,? she will say, ?your dad doesn?t have a coochie??

Dear God, spare me the humiliation. I may become known as the ?Crying Game Father?, or the ?Sleepaway Camp Dad? (did anyone see that?). Perhaps it would be easier if I would go ahead and actually get one surgically placed there????.on second thought, that would cause all sorts of problems (my friends might be calling me all the time asking to come visit).

Now the Bug likes to tell me, ?Good job? for everything I do. I get her juice, ?Good job.? I change her diaper, ?Good job.? I take a leak in the other room, ?Good job, da-da.?

The other day I saw her standing with her finger up her nose. I asked, “What are you doing?”

“Geh booga, da-da.” Damn, when did I say booger?

Last night she said, ?I poo-poo, da-da.? So I went into the other room, took off her diaper to find???.nothing.

A bit irritated for going to the trouble I said, ?You didn?t poop. There isn?t anything here.?

?Yep,? she said, ?jus gas.?

Kids rock.

A Bug?s Life

Being a dad is pretty awesome. Being the dad of a little girl is somewhat frightening. I know it is stereotypical to think that girls need to be protected, and that guys can engage in certain behaviors and get away with it while girls can?t do the same things with an equal amount of freedom. I know that the genders should be raised similarly and that girls should be treated equally????.but I have my doubts that it is going to happen. That is fine for other girls, but this one is MY GIRL.

There are a number of things I have noticed since becoming a dad that I did not take note of before. First, you receive absolutely NO TRAINING at all for the role. For some reason, all my years of drinking heavily and abusing my body did not prepare me for the role of being a parent. I am amazed that I walked into the hospital an ordinary guy, and walked out with another dependent. They don?t ask questions or do any type of background check. I was grilled more when I went to get a new driver?s license than I was when I became a dad. I am not suggesting that this procedure (or lack thereof) be changed, I guess I was just hoping that I would magically become smarter or better prepared to take care of someone else. I needed instructions to be included, but could find none.

I also find it fascinating how children get nicknames from parents. There must be a rule that I have not heard of which states that all parents must give their kid a nickname that somehow relates to nature. Bigwig?s kid is Ngnat, relating to nature, while ours is Bug, or more formally, The Bug. We spent so much time thinking over names for the child, yet I call her by this name (which just came out as an extension of her own name) more than the one we worked on so diligently.

One the best things about having a kid is that they literally provide an endless supply of things to laugh about. Ours is talking now???.A LOT, and what comes out of her mouth at times give me a window into my own personality, since I am being confronted with my own words as she repeats what I have said. I was changing her diaper a number of months ago when it was obvious that she was aware of her????..femaleness.

?Wha dis da-da?,? she asked.

I didn?t know what to say. There is a lot of pressure to think that I am about to give her the name she will forever use when talking about her???..region.

I smiled and replied, ?That?s your coochie.?

It just came out. Perhaps I should have given it more thought, but I was pressured and came out with a name that certainly is better than some of my options. That got the ball rolling.

?Dat?s my cooch,? she said.

?Yes baby, that?s your cooch.?

?Mama?s cooch,? she continued.

?Okay,? I said, seeing that she was understanding and wanting the conversation to end.

?Da-da?s cooch,? she offered.

What the hell should I do? Do I try to explain the differences between males and females to a 14 month old? I did what I thought was best???

?Yes babe, da-da?s cooch.?

Each time the subject came up I confessed to having a cooch. It is quite possible that she will paying for therapy when she gets older because she thinks that her dad has a cooch, and she is too nervous to ask me about it. I can hear the conversations with her friends as she gets older.

?What,? she will say, ?your dad doesn?t have a coochie??

Dear God, spare me the humiliation. I may become known as the ?Crying Game Father?, or the ?Sleepaway Camp Dad? (did anyone see that?). Perhaps it would be easier if I would go ahead and actually get one surgically placed there????.on second thought, that would cause all sorts of problems (my friends might be calling me all the time asking to come visit).

Now the Bug likes to tell me, ?Good job? for everything I do. I get her juice, ?Good job.? I change her diaper, ?Good job.? I take a leak in the other room, ?Good job, da-da.?

The other day I saw her standing with her finger up her nose. I asked, “What are you doing?”

“Geh booga, da-da.” Damn, when did I say booger?

Last night she said, ?I poo-poo, da-da.? So I went into the other room, took off her diaper to find???.nothing.

A bit irritated for going to the trouble I said, ?You didn?t poop. There isn?t anything here.?

?Yep,? she said, ?jus gas.?

Kids rock.

Somebody is telling a fib. Can you guess who?

The New York Times
Investigators are likely to focus on security procedures surrounding the exercises, Pentagon officials said. Mr. Mezrem, the Kuwaiti spokesman, said the Kuwaiti government was responsible for securing Failaka, a 7-mile-by-4- mile thumb-shaped island about 20 miles east of Kuwait City.

“They must have sneaked on,” Mr. Mezrem said, referring to the gunmen. “It’s strictly off limits. You need licenses to get clearances.”

Kuwait’s Top List
The island of Failaka is of special interest to Kuwaitis. Apart from its historical importance as a land of relics and ancient civilizations, it has become a modern tourist attraction, keeping abreast with all aspects of modern progress. Everyday visitors are carried from the mainland at Ras Al Ardh (Salmiya) to the island by ferry boats to relax and swim in its clear waters. Much of their leisure time is spent at its huge Touristic complex, located in the southern part of Failaka, which contains a good number of swimming pools, sports playgrounds and restaurants, as well as hundreds of conveniently furnished chalets with all amenities.

IslamicQ
Failaka Island is the home of Kuwait’s main archaeological site with a history going back to the Bronze Age. The Greeks came to Failaka in the 4th Century BC as part of a Greek Garrison commanded by Nearchus an admiral in the army of Alexander the Great. Failaka is about 20 miles from Kuwait City. A convenient ferry service plies the route several times a day.

The Ornithological Society of the Middle East
I spent a full day, on my own, on a return boat trip to Failaka Island, in the hope of connecting with any seabirds of note. The ferry travels from Salmiya Port (leaving times depend on tides) ? go through a small barrier and security into the port area. The cost is 2.5KD and exact money is recommended. You will also need to take a passport for identification on arrival at Failaka Island (journey time about 1.5 hours) Due to lack of change at the “booking office” I offered to pay for another daily traveller (a Bangladeshi called Waheed), which turned out to be a good move. Waheed was an agricultural scientist who was making his monthly visit to check a small plantation. On arrival, we toured the plantation (15 minutes) after which we had the free use of a vehicle and Waheed gladly acted as tour guide ? showing me the “sights” of the island.

Imagine There Were No Prison Bars

All we are saying, is don’t give him a chance.