The Five Fundamental Flaws of Leftism.
1. At parties, constant sermonizing inhibits your ability to id the drunk slutty girls, which means by the end of the night, you’re bitching to whomever will listen about how the chicks don’t care for guys who treat them right. Come to think of it, this is also one of the flaws of the Far Right. The lesson here? Shut your pie hole and get the lady another Kamikaze.
2. Your student job, at a used bookstore, graduate student position or fashionable nonprofit, doesn’t pay you well enough to own anything other than a bike or a constantly broken down car, so by the end of the night, you’re bitching to whomever will listen about how the chicks don’t care for guys who don’t have dough.
3. Most universities now prohibit sexual relationships between student and the faculty, so odds are you won’t get laid when you’re old, either.
4. Your commitment to zero population growth means that your genes won’t be passed on, and you know in your heart of hearts that they are superior genes. Also, the realization that in order to fully demonstrate your commitment you must first actually get laid is very depressing.
5. All the best drugs are available only from redneck Republican good ole boys or country-club Republican frat boys, at a considerably non-marxist markup that you can’t really afford. When you do scrape up the cash, you depart with the distinct impression that they consider you somewhat effeminate.
Wait, did I say flaws? I meant errors. And no, misplaying the throw from shortstop is not one of them. Though come to think of it, who do you think would be least likely to misplay the throw from shortstop, Maureen Dowd or George Will?
