The Best Hraka Around
Guess the news service that wrote this caption!
Recovery and debris removal work continues at the site of the World Trade Center known as “ground zero” in New York, March 25, 2002. Human rights around the world have been a casualty of the U.S. “war on terror” since September 11.
The answer is over at Trojan Horseshoes.
Children’s cartoons I’d like to see
When I got to a certain age, let’s call it 9, I started yelling at the cartoons every Saturday morning. The villains were always so dumb, usually just barely dumber than the heroes. I realize now that at that time, Saturday morning cartoon writer must have been the absolute lowest rung on the entertainment ladder, the job given to the beginners and the dipshits who weren’t employable anywhere else, but were either related to or owed a favor by someone in management. I didn’t know that then. All I knew was that if I were the villian, He-man would have been emasculated, most of the Superfriends converted into a thick red paste, and She-Ra and Wonder Woman would be performing tricks for my amusement in the bedroom.
Okay, maybe that last bit wasn’t at nine years of age. I can definitely remember expounding on that point lots of times in my freshman year in college though, right after I passed the bong along. Also, I would have eaten fricasseed Roadrunner many, many times. It always pissed me off that the Coyote never tried to refine his methods. Some trap that almost worked, that in fact would have worked except for his own actions, was tossed aside and never returned to. Oh, it still makes me mad.
I don’t shout at cartoons anymore. I’m not allowed. It might confuse and upset the Ngnat to see Daddy ranting at her beloved friends, according to the sainted wife, so I am to keep my smart remarks to myself.
I usually end up leaving the room. I feel that otherwise I’m at a serious risk for diabetes. Not that I want to destroy Ngnat’s innocence, and it is a joy to see her dance around with excitement upon seeing Elmo, but there are times when the cartoons become teeth-grindingly cloying, and I want to hack into the feed and replace it with my own.
Sagwa Goes Into Heat - In this episode, Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat entertains all the male strays in town, all night long, right underneath the Magistrate’s window. She is kicked out of the house by her horrified family, and has a litter of mixed breed kittens. Down, out, and living paw to mouth, Sagwa spares the life of a sick rat, who then infects the entire town with the plague.
Barney and the Tarpit - Barney and Pals visit La Brea, where he accidentally falls in after some especially crappy choreography. One by one, all of Barney’s friends attempt to save him, and fail, and join him in his impending doom. Just before the tar closes in over him, Barney berates the little cretins, saying that if they had just worked together they could all have been saved. “I’ll see you in hell, you little shits.”
Jay Jay the Jet Plane Meets Mohammed Atta - Jay Jay is scared by the Scruffy Man who wants a ride, but Brenda Blue tells him it’s not nice to judge other people just because they are different. The Scruffy Man mounts Jay Jay like Slim Pickens on the bomb in Dr. Strangelove, and drives the little plane insane thru the strategic use of a cattle prod, forcing him to dive into Brenda Blue’s hanger. Jay Jay’s friends Snuffy the Skywriter and Revvin Evan the Fire engine both think about rescuing him, but decide that they’d get a better deal from the producers if them let him die.
Caillou Gets Chased By the Franciscans - Calliou is enchanted by his new neighbors, the jolly fellows in robes, until he learns their horrible secret.
Clifford Humps Your Leg - Clifford the Big Red Dog decides to show the islanders once and for all who is the leader of the pack.
Elmo Meets the Feebles - PBS sells Elmo off to a traveling show after donations fall short of the annual goal.
Squeal Like A Pig
Does this site make any one else think of poor ol’ Ned Beaty? I can almost hear the banjos playing in the background.
AIMless conversation
Woundwort: closing on the house is set for today, i pray it goes through.
Bigwig: sweet. same asshole?
Woundwort: yep, but only had to wait one day after agreeing on a contract so that was a surprise. nice not to have to wait.
Woundwort: i still won’t believe it until it is done, i will let you know.
Bigwig: yea. You get the email about the beer festival?
Woundwort: yeah, but i deleted it. sorry. when is it? i would like a beer right now.
Bigwig: let me go look again
Bigwig: the 21st
Woundwort: of sept.?
Bigwig: yes
Woundwort: okay, i’ll check. i would love to go with that, but we may be moving over the next few weekends. i will try to work it out. who is going?
Bigwig: dunno yet.
Bigwig: i am if somebody else does
Bigwig: and Kehaaar will probably go
Bigwig: Tommy usually does
Bigwig: and we can lean on Kevin
Woundwort: if you are going that is all that matters to me.
Bigwig: well, ok then
Woundwort: you complete me
Bigwig: you had me at “motherfucker”
Woundwort: i’m getting weepy, we really do have something special
Woundwort: dysfunctional, but special
Bigwig: We are the short yellow schoolbus of relationships
Hell to Sell, Part 2
After being a complete tail with all of his previous LOW, LOW offers, the guy wanting to buy our house pulled out a completely different card to play. He made the comment there were some things that needed fixing (minor cosmetic items), so we dropped our price eventually by $1000 and told him to use that money to fix things. He bitched, we held our ground. Then, out of nowhere, he attempted to play the sympathy card.
We actually knew the man when we lived there, yet he continued to drive a hard bargain in an effort to steal the home for us. Now that we showed some backbone he actually had the nerve to say:
But I am buying this for my 80 year old mother-in-law who can’t physically fix all of these things.
For those of you with grandparents, or those of you who are particularly sympathetic to older adults, I am advising you to stop reading at this point. I basically told him, through our realtor:
Screw you and your 80 year old mother-in-law. Your ass will be living 3 doors down from her so you can get your peckerhead self off the couch to fix whatever the hell her old ass breaks. You blew the chance for any sympathy when you low-balled us, so you can tell granny I said to cough it up or go to hell!!!
I have never agreed more with the notion that power is an aphrodisiac. I was making myself horny just enjoying the empowerment I had given myself with those words. The latest is that he accepted my comments and has set a closing date of today. So, the bastard haggled for a week and then set a closing date for the next day. I will be glad when he signs on the dotted line this afternoon and this is behind us, but I am not counting on it being a done deal until he puts his chicken-scratch signature on the contract. I will give an update after the meeting (for which we will not be present, having given our realtor our power of attorney).
Moral of the Story: Be mean to old people.
At long last, Nancy Archer has satisfied her giant desires.
Join the Dark Side
Maybe it’s just me, but is Thomas Friedman is slouching towards bloggerdom? Look at some of the phrasing in his latest column.
Assigned reading: Larry Miller’s Jan. 14, 2002, essay in The Weekly Standard: “Listen carefully: We’re good, they’re evil, nothing is relative. Say it with me now and free yourselves. You see, folks, saying `We’re good’ doesn’t mean `We’re perfect.’ Okay? The only perfect being is the bearded guy on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. The plain fact is that our country has, with all our mistakes and blunders, always been and always will be the greatest beacon of freedom, charity, opportunity, and affection in history. If you need proof, open all the borders on Earth and see what happens. In about half a day, the entire world would be a ghost town, and the United States would look like one giant line to see `The Producers.’ . . . So here’s what I resolve: To never forget our murdered brothers and sisters. To never let the relativists get away with their immoral thinking. After all, no matter what your daughter’s political science professor says, we didn’t start this.”
….
Assigned reading: “An Autumn of War,” by the military historian Victor Davis Hanson: “Our visionaries must be far clearer about the nature of our struggle. In their understandable efforts to say what we are not doing ? fighting Islam or provoking Arab peoples ? they have failed utterly to voice what we are doing: preserving Western civilization and its uniquely tolerant and human traditions of freedom, consensual government, disinterested inquiry and religious and political tolerance. . . . We must cease the apologetic tone we have developed with the Arab world, and make it clear that their ministers who hector us are not legitimate without elections, their spokesmen are not journalists without a free press, and their intellectuals are not credible without liberty. The right to admonish Americans on questions of morality is not an entitlement, but something earned only through a shared commitment to constitutional government.”
Larry Miller, Victor Davis Hanson? The Weekly Standard? Assigned reading? All he’s lacking are links, comments and Sekimori
