Hell to Sell
I have come to the conclusion that selling a home, even a decent home that is in good condition and not falling in on itself is the worst experience any human being could possibly go through. At least drowning, burning, and being shot are quicker, and I am willing to suggest that they might even be less painful. For those of you who have not had this experience, let me break it down for you in a nutshell.
Step 1: Set an asking price (I’m not sure of the reason, to give a high water mark I suppose)
Step 2: Receive an offer from a potential buyer (that is no doubt nowhere near what you are asking for)
Step 3: Give a counter-offer.
Step 4: Repeat steps 2 and 3 until you are so sick of the process that you are willing to move back to the city from whence you came.
Some idiot is trying to buy our home right now, and gave us a bid that is less than what we paid for the house. Had I known his email address I would have sent him a message which read:
I’m sorry, but you are obviously too damn stupid to own your own home. Request……DENIED!!!!!!
After a week we accepted his latest offer and said, just take the keys, we take your money and that is the end of it. We have gone so low that we will not make any money, but we lowered the price so that he could make any necessary repairs. Now the jerk-off says that we will still fix some items, so today I told him to go %@#$#$ himself. Take it or leave it……………and I swear I have never enjoyed anything in my life more than I enjoyed saying that. He had nickeled and dimed us until we weren’t making any money and still wanted more and it was time for us to draw a line in the sand.
Sure, I may have missed a sale, but the adrenaline rush I had telling him to kiss my ass was worth every dime I may have to eventually sink into that home. Still, I pray that each of you will never have to go through this process. I am about 2 days away from slinging my body onto a sword. Perhaps, those of you who have been through this will understand my plight, and maybe we can start a support group. Updates to follow.
