Silflay Hraka

Fear my mighty mipples!

Ok, so the 1632/1633 book review has become the Energizer Bunny of posts. I get another…. what should I call them? Meme ripple?…mripple?…mipples? Ooooo, mipples. I like that. I get another mipple every couple of days.

Philosoblog just finished reading 1632, and has compiled a list of American moral principles as expressed by the characters. Among them;

It?s okay to own a gun.

The fact that we aren?t morally perfect doesn?t show that our values aren?t the best.

‘Course, he doesn’t say if he liked it or not. Well, Philoso?

The Return of Zod

A reader comments that….
Zod: What do you mean “a” reader?
It’s a person, he’s reading.
Zod: “a” implies that you have multiple readers.
We do have multiple readers.
Zod: Only if you count me and the two bugs.
Fine, I’m counting you and the bugs.
Zod: Just keeping you honest.
You done?
Zod: Certainly.
Fine.
Zod: Fine.

A reader comments…
Zod: His name’s Andy. Can’t you just say Andy?
I using the editorial voice, you ass.
Zod: Is that the one you used to try out on the dog after you read Dune?
I’m trying to do a post here.
Zod: “You will fetch the stick, Towser.”
Fine, just keep talking, I’m ignoring you.
Zod: The book said only a Bene Gesserit could use the Voice.
One of our many dedicated readers, Andy Freeman…
Zod: But no, you thought you could be the Kwisach-Haderach.
wrote in to say that he couldn’t remember…
Zod: Your mother looked for that nutmeg for weeks.
The Drunken Philosopher’s song.
Zod: Still, better than that time you decided you were the Antichrist.
This is basically the same to us as waving…
Zod: And now there’s this reincarnation of Churchill obsession.
a red flag in front of a bull..
Zod: Megalomaniac.
You’re calling me a megalomaniac, Mr. “Bring me the son of Jor-el?”
Zod: Well, look who’s back. Once again we know who’s zooming who.
“Who’s zooming who?” What, you channeling Aretha?
Aretha: You know it girl.
Zod: Ahhhh! Begone, foul shade! Back to the pit that spawned you!
Aretha: You better give me some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, or I’m going to kick you right in the T-E-E-T-H, white boy.
Zod: You will submit to Zod!. There can be only one!
Highlander: There can be only one!
Zod: Shit.
Aretha: Unless there’s a sequel, or TV show, or a breakfast cereal…
Highlander: Look, I asked for final cut, but the damn producers…
Umm, Guys?
Zod: Zod will destroy you!
Highlander: Oh, shut up, Little Dick.
Zod: Zod does not have a little dick!
Getting kind of crowded in there guys.
Aretha: Aretha knows better, honey.
Zod: That water was cold and you know it!
Highlander: A man’s sword must fit into his sheath.
Zod: I’ll do you, mate. Keep talking.
I’ll just let ya’ll thrash this out, ok? Get back to me when you’ve decide who the primary voice is.
Zod: You can have his mind when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Aretha: I am going to smack this honky’s ass into next week.
Highlander: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my fadda…Wait, that’s not right…

Ok, while I’ve got some peace here. Andy Freeman not only couldn’t remember all of the Drunken Philosopher’s song, the part he did remember he misquoted, which to a deep down soul pedant like myself is the same as a red flag to a bull.

The Philosopher’s Drinking Song

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya
’bout the raisin’ of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

John Stewart Mill, of his own free will,
after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away,
‘alf a crate of whiskey every day!
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
“I drink, therefore I am.”

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he’s pissed.

Zod: Ok, that’s taken care of. Now where……oh bugger, he’s done.

Educational Freedom?

Just read this by Kathy Kinsley over at “On the Third Hand”. I’ve been following the story about UNC having incoming freshmen read a book about Islam.

You know, I’m a UNC grad and this is my take on the whole thing. Seems like all the PC folk over there at UNC are up in arms about “educational freedom”, but is it educational freedom to FORCE incoming students to read a book about Islam? If I’m a student coming into the University, I am there to study what I WANT to study, not what you think would be good for me to study. That’s MY educational freedom. I don’t want or need a bunch of academics that live in a sheltered campus world to tell me what it’s important for me to study or what it’s important for me to know, especially the PC crowd at a liberal university like UNC. I spent the better part of 8 years on that campus, graduating with an English degree. I had it worse than most. It’s practically required to take a look at every piece of literature from a feminist perspective, or a Marxist perspective, or from a gay perspective. Political Correctness is rampant on campus and it saturates everything that goes on. It’s like trying to legislate morality. You need to consider everyone’s point of view in everything and be sensitive to everyone’s point of view and not hurt anyone’s feelings. What a load of crap. This is the kind of thinking that leads a murderer to blame his or her crime on “society”. “It’s not my fault. I am what society made me.” Bullshit.

The point is, I wouldn’t want some PC ex-hippie telling me or my kid that I have to read this book on Islam. I think it is the height of hypocrisy to cry educational freedom and then force feed incoming students with a book about a particular religion, gender or political viewpoint. Get over yourselves and join the real world.

And it might surprise you, but I consider myself a liberal! I must be getting old. Geez.

Comic book stuff seems to be getting caught in my filter today.

MIT is full of geeks, so it’s no surprise that when they needed an image of a sexy chic in battle armor to sell to the Pentagon, they ripped one out of a comic book. Link via Chris Ruzin

Enter The Iraqi Goblin!

Achewood, via Lileks

John Ashcroft needs a handjob. Well, duh.

The guy who did Bobbins has a new strip, Scary Go Round.

Bad Coder, Bad!

Archives are screwy, and the republishing trick doesn’t work yet, but the error is interesting. Here’s a url that is not working at the moment

http://silflayhraka.blogspot.com/2002_08_25_silflayhraka_archive.html#85394025

Here’s the error message

The requested URL /2002_08_25_silflayhraka_archie.html was not found on this server.

So no, I’m not a jughead who can’t update correctly. Some fumble-fingered idiot at Blogger obviously just updated the code, and didn’t check to see if it worked or not before uploading it to the servers.

Update: and it’s not just me. Checkout this error for an Unremitting Verse archive

The requested URL /2002_08_01_unremittingerse_archie.html was not found on this server. There’s no letter “v” to be found, and there should be two. Something in their code is stripping out all instances of that letter.

Oh, Evvvvvvv!

Update: Aaaand they’re back, at 3:01 EST. I wonder if the 200 times I clicked on the Ev link above made any difference

Out of all the Western news outfits, biased left or right as they are, which one should you trust the least? Bloomberg.

Will The Threat Come Bak(lava)?

It can’t be this easy. To say that Greece is downplaying the threat of terrorism for their hosting of the 2004 Olympics might be the biggest understatement of the year, perhaps second only to the statement that Saddam is “not always nice.” I am thankful that members of the group November 17 have been arrested, but isn’t it a bit premature to claim that this particular threat has been eradicated? They round up 15 members and suggest that this is everyone, how can this be?

Does this mean that the group that has been threatening civilized society for 27 years only managed to recruit 15 people to join them in their crusade? Hell, they could learn something from the Mormons and the Hare Krishnas. Perhaps November 17 would have been better served by riding their bikes across the desert or selling roses at the airport. I think I could get 15 people to follow my beliefs just by having a porn party once a week and bringing some beer.

I have my doubts that Athens has completely eliminated this threat, and am sure that some other nut carrying the November 17 flag will wave it proudly as he tries to blow himself up in the produce section of the local grocery. Greece should be pleased with the arrests that were made, but are most likely aware that the threat may continue to be present. Perhaps this “NO THREAT” campaign is simply the work of an overpaid advertising agency who brought us such gems as New Coke, and the Reebok adds where the man fell out of his shoes while bungy jumping (does anyone remember that banned commercial?).

Screed
Worried Saudis Try to Improve Image in the U.S.

The Saudi government has spent millions of dollars on well-connected lobbyists and national television advertisements since Sept. 11 in a drive to improve its image among Americans and is poised to spend more as the anniversary of the events approaches.

“Millions for pretense, but not one cent for pursuit” pretty much sums up the entire Saudi attitude towards the war on terrorism.

Saudi officials said the publicity was intended to counter intensified anger or skepticism among Americans toward their country, which was home to 15 of the 19 hijackers and which has clashed publicly with the Bush administration over a possible attack against Iraq.

Assuaging the anger would like, hard? So we’re not going to do that, ok? Plus it’s like a lot easier to pay someone to tell you how good we are than to actually do anything? Duh, that’s what money’s for? It worked with the imams, and they’re a lot more a pain that you people are, ok?

(Editor’s note: Apparently I was channeling some sort of Saudi Valley Prince here, but that’s ok, because we know they like the malls)

A striking sign of the Saudis’ eagerness to reach out to the United States has been an 11th-hour scramble within the royal family to find a gesture of solidarity with the American people on the anniversary of the attacks.

Nothing substantial, you understand. Just a gesture, like offering to clean up the cat puke on the carpet once you’re positive that wife’s almost done with it. “Honey, can I get that for you?”.

The royal family has considered presenting the racehorse that won the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes this year as a gift to the victims’ families, according to one adviser to the family. The horse, War Emblem, which was owned by Prince Ahmed bin Salman, who died in July, would be part of the commemoration at Ground Zero.

They’re awfully sorry about the little mixup, you know the one where 15 of their citizens helped kill thousands of ours? But everything will be ok, ’cause they’re gonna give us a pony! Apparently the image the Saudi’s have of us is more Lisa Simpson than Dirty Harry. And that’s bad, because you know how the Saudi’s treat women.

In all, the Saudis have hired several public relations firms and have already spent more than $5 million, according to new Justice Department filings.

Five million? That’s like giving a panhandler eight or nine pennies wrapped inside a dollar. You’re just doing it to make him go away. Five mil is nothing to the Saudis, which means that we’re nothing to the Saudis. Total Saudi effort in the War on Terrorism so far? Pocket change and a pony. “But’s such a nice pony! You can ride him whenever you want, and feed him apple and sugar cubes!”

These firms include one of Washington’s most prominent, Patton Boggs, which received $170,000 in the first six months of this year, according to the filings. Patton Boggs is especially known for its contacts among Democrats. It was founded by Thomas Hale Boggs Jr., a well-connected Democratic lobbyist, whose father, Representative Hale Boggs, was majority leader, and whose sister is the journalist Cokie Roberts.

If you’d like to contact Patton Boggs and ask them why they’re profiting from the deaths of thousands of Americans, you can call them at 202.457.6000. Their website features the PattonBoggs motto, which is “seeing things differently”. You witnessed the collapse of the World Trade Center and saw tragedy. They saw a profit opportunity.

If you like to talk to Mr. Boggs directly, his email address is tboggs AT pattonboggs.com.(munged because even war profiteers don’t deserve spam).

(Notes: Mr. Boggs has given $3000 to the DCCC since August of last year)

The Saudi government has also hired Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld, a firm founded by Robert W. Strauss, the former head of the Democratic National Committee, paying out $161,799 in the first half of 2002, the filings show. Frederick Dutton, a former special assistant to President John F. Kennedy and a longtime adviser to the Saudis, received $536,000 to help manage the Saudis’ handling of the aftermath of Sept. 11 ? and he has a continuing contract with that government.

Because if there’s one American firm willing to sell out the country for cash, there’s another one that will do it cheaper. That’s the glory of capitalism.

Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld
202.887.4000
Email addresses

The Saudis have also turned to lobbyists with Republican credentials, hiring James P. Gallagher, a former staff member for Senator Judd Gregg of New Hampshire, and the media-buying firm of Sandler-Innocenzi, which has strong Republican connections.

Can’t find anything definitive about Gallagher, he may be the president of the University of Philadelphia, or it could be a guy with the same name.

Sandler-Innocenzi
Candidates who also hired them. I wonder what they’d say about using the same firm as a group that sponsors hatred of all things not Islamic.
Email: gibson AT sandler-innocenzi.com

Adel al-Jubeir, an adviser to the Saudi government and a key figure in the new effort, said his government was appropriating the techniques of an American political campaign to overhaul its image in this country. The strategy involves hiring a new publicity team, being more accessible to the press, sending officials on speaking tours, cultivating research organizations inside and outside the Washington Beltway and polling Americans on their opinions.

“appropriating the techniques of an American political campaign”? We can expect them to start slinging mud any day now.

…….

In one ad produced by the public relations firm Qorvis Communications, the Saudi and American flags are hoisted together while a narrator intones over soothing piano music: “In the war on terrorism we all have a part to play. Our country has been an ally for over 60 years.” A second ad shows Saudi leaders meeting with an unbroken string of American presidents since Roosevelt.

The company, whose other accounts include the campaign to allow for oil exploration in the Alaskan wildlife refuge, has distributed position papers featuring friendly remarks by Bush administration officials toward Saudi Arabia.

Qorvis does a somewhat better job of hiding e-mail addresses than the others, perhaps because they realize how slimy they are.
Karen Vahouny Partner, Qorvis Communications kvahouny AT qorvis.com
Douglas Poretz Partner, Qorvis Communications dporetz AT qorvis.com. (Note: According to OpenSecrets, Peretz gave $500 to Rep. Thomas Davis on the 9 month anniversary of Sept. 11th.)
September 11th is just around the corner. On that day, do you really want to see commercials telling you how good the Saudis are, how much they feel your pain? If not, reach out and touch the bastards that take blood money to make them.

Update: Bill Quick read the same story.

Maybe if your royal family stopped funding people like Osama bin Laden, the murderer of thousands of Americans, and stopped paying to build madrassa schools around the world to teach your savage Wahabi version of Islam, and cooperated with the United States in its War on Terror, and allowed us to use the bases we built for you against our (and your) enemy Saddam Hussein -
But no. That would be too obvious, wouldn’t it? Better to offer us a race horse bred, born, and rasied her in the United States that you bought with your greasy Oilbag bucks

Spoons knows what we can do with the horse. return the horse… Corleone style.

Laurence has a timetable of events
Horse offered to families of victims.
Governor Pataki and Former Mayor Rudy tell Saudis to go fuck themselves.
Cynthia McKinney writes letter telling Saudis that they need the horse for other things in America.
Saudis present Cynthia McKinney with horse.
America tells Cynthia McKinney to go fuck herself and the horse she rode in on.

The MCJ offers some free advice
Why not employ a woman as your foreign policy spokesperson? You can still get your lies viewpoint across and you might even convince a few people here that you don’t think women are nothing more than two-legged baby vending machines.

Movie Review: Signs

…

Oh my GOD, it’s bad. I don’t know who keeps going to see this movie or how it got to be the number one movie AGAIN this week, but it is HORRIBLE. This is the worst movie I’ve seen since “Pearl Harbor“, and I’ve seen a lot of movies since then. (I had to go see a lot of movies after Pearl Harbor. It’s kinda’ like forcing yourself back onto the horse after it’s thrown you.)

Where do I begin? What a heavy-handed, ham-fisted, piece of CRAP!

Okay, here’s the plot. Space invaders leave symbols in the corn field of a farmer who used to be a priest (Mel Gibson), until he lost his faith because his wife was killed in an accident. The aliens eventually invade. The priest must find his faith again in order to save his family from the alien invaders. The end.

…

Breath in. Breath out. Find your happy place. Let it all out. Calm. Caaaalllm. There. That’s better.

Here are my problems with the movie: from the very outset of the movie, you can tell the movie is going to be beautiful cinematically speaking. There’s a beautifully framed shot of the corn field from the window of the farm house to start the movie. I have no problem with that. I start to develop a problem when you get the feeling that the director (M. Night Shyamalan) is POINTING out to you how beautifully filmed everything is. You get the feeling that he’s saying “See, look how beautiful this shot is. Can you see how I’ve framed Mel in this doorway with the light behind him, and see the outline of the crucifix where it used to hang on the wall? See, it used to be there when he had faith, but then his wife died and he took it down. See? See? Neat, huh?!” It’s like that thoroughout the entire movie. New scene. Pause on actor. Actor poses in doorway, gazing thoughtfully at something, or nothing. Pose. Pose. Pose. Cue actor to move slowly across the room. Slower. Slower. SLOWER. Now pause. Pose. CUT!

And then the camera angle switches to some out of place fish-eye lense or something. I felt like I was watching a f*cking Tums commercial.

You know, I’m not stupid. You don’t have to spoon-feed me all this depth and heaviness. But you get spoon-fed from the very start. The movie OOZES somberness, because, you know, questioning faith is a heavy topic and we should all consider it in a very somber way. The actors all appear as if they were forced to swallow sedatives before every scene. No one smiles. Everyone moves slowly and acts very somber and concerned and far away. No one so much as blinks throughout the entire movie. I am not lying or exaggerating. I can count on ONE hand the number of blinks in the entire what-felt-like-7 hours of the movie. It’s not natural.

What else? Oh, the aliens are a joke. Most of the alien scenes are some guy with a rubber hand pawing under the door. OOooohh, scaaary. Gimme a break. Evidently aliens can’t work doorknobs or bust through doors or windows if they have so much as one board across them. Oh, EXCEPT for towards the end where one unexplicably manages to break in a boarded up window without being heard WHILE EVERYONE IS IN THE SAME ROOM. This one was out for personal vengeance, evidently. There is one scene in which you get to see the alien up-close and personal. My immediate thoughts: “What a horrible rubber suit that is.”

I do have to mention one notable almost-positive about the movie. The almost-positive is the little girl, the priest’s daughter. She is played by Abigail Breslin. She’s somewhere between 8 and 10, and if she weren’t forced to play a child zombie, she would have been wonderful. She reminded me of Carol Ann in “Poltergeist“, except that she had exceeded her recommended dosage of Ritalin. Blink! Blink, damn you!

I do not understand how anyone, even your mainstream movie reviewers, found this movie to be suspenseful or frightening or entertaining. I was bored out of my mind inside of 15 minutes. I kept thinking to myself: “Was this movie made in France? Where is the sad happy clown of life?” How bad was the movie? There were bits that were supposed to be funny, evidently, and people laughed. People laughed because it was so obviously not funny, that it was funny. People laughed in the serious parts of the movie too. Everyone around us kept up a running commentary on how horrible the movie was, and I’m usually the only one that talks out loud for everyone to hear in movies.

Some poor *sshole gave this movie FOUR STARS. Wha’? How?

I guess I’m so worked up because the movie just felt like it had to force all this heaviness and thought-provoking stuff down your throat, as if you weren’t bright enough to pick up on it if the director bothered to disguise it in any way, shape, or form. Steven Spielberg, the director is not. Not even close. This one makes my worst movies of all time list. Others include the aforementioned “Pearl Harbor” and “Battlefield Earth“, if that gives you anything to go on. The trouble is, someone is going to win an Oscar for this movie, and I just don’t know why. Prediction: this movie will win Shyamalan Best Director at the Oscars next year. Rating: D- or One Star

Update: Letter from Gotham hated Signs as well.

The Devil’s Excrement explains Venezuelan politics to his Argentinian friend, Carlos.

-Hi, Claudio?
-Yes, it?s me, who is it?
-Shit, don?t you recognize me?
-It?s me Carlos Mamut
-Carlitos, to what do I owe this miracle?
-Well, what can I say? I had to call. I am watching on CNN that an opposition group is in front of the Presidential Palace, burning tires and throwing stones. Tell, me what is happening in Venezuela?
-Claudio, that is not the opposition, the ones throwing stones are Government supporters.
-Don?t be nuts Carlitos, that is the opposition. How can Government supporters create havoc, put up barricades and throw stones? I saw the police repressing the demonstration!
-Well, yes, what happens is that?I don?t know how to explain it, but it happens that the police are the Government?s enemy; nevertheless they are trying to stop the demonstrators from overthrowing the Government.
-Listen to yourself, you are saying nutty things, I am watching on TV hooded demonstrators shooting against the marchers that are going towards the Presidential Palace.
-You are right, and now that you mention it I don?t understand it either, the point is that the demonstration that you are watching is in favor of the Government and those that are shooting, are shooting against the cops which are led by the Mayor of Caracas, who by the way is not in favor of the Government.
-Nuts! Are you kidding me? I have just seen the Mayor of Caracas saying that he backs Ch?vez.
-Carlos you have to understand that that is another Mayor, I am talking about the one that does not back him.
-Ah! The one that directs the cops?
-No! The police are being led by the Mayor that backs Chavez; I am referring to the Metropolitan police
-Well, the Metropolitan police does not belong to Caracas?
-Yes! But that one belongs to another Mayor, the one that does not back him!