Silflay Hraka

Prayers of a 20 Month Old Girl

Dad: Okay Katie Bug, it?s time to say your prayers.

Bug: Oh-kay.

Dad: Thank you for mom and dad, and Katie, and who else???..

Bug: Mama Bugg.

Dad: Yeah, who else?

Bug: Papa Bugg??

Dad: Uh-huh?

Bug: Gigi, Ga-ga??.

Dad: Right?

(Silence???..)

Bug: Ah crem (ice cream).

Dad: Well, ice cream is good, but who else are you thankful for?

(More silence????..)

Bug: Kook-eee (cookie)

Dad: Okay sweetheart, cookies are good too, but is there anyone else we are thankful for?

Bug: I luh loo da-da!

(Dad forgets every other name on the prayer list, gives daughter ice cream and cookies, sings stupid camp songs the rest of the night and considers it a success).

New Friend of Hraka - ZionBlog. “Your one stop shopping solution for misspelled Israeli news.”

Blogger Meet-Up

It was a bloody shambles. I was the only one there. I don’t mind being the one one there, I got some reading done. But I’ll be damned if I’m driving to Raleigh again.

Bedtime
Ngnat has graduated from the crib to a big-girl bed. At night we lie in it and sing songs, and read books. Tonight we read Down By the Station, and Touch and Feel Shapes and Alexander. Not Alexander of the Terrible Horrible Day, but Alexander the Red Horse with Green Stripes. It was one of mine, one of the few that made it through the 4 childhoods in our household without being ripped to shreds. Old Black Witch and Miss Twiggly’s Tree also made it, but she hasn’t shown any interest in them yet. We played Daddy drums, which consists of her pounding on me while I sing “Daddy Drums, daddy drums, we are playing daddy drums”, and Taylor drums, which is me singing the same tune with her name, and tapping her at various places, while she giggles and tries to catch my hands. We make faces at each other and say “Ahhhhhhhhhh. Eeeeeeeeeee.”

She also tells me about her day. Most of it I don’t understand

“Ogaly bogaly emma knee paper!”

“yes dear.”

“Wosa mate toppy mam!”

“Did you like that?”

“uh-huh”

But some of it I do. She got her feet dirty playing in the sand,and she liked the feel of sand on her feet. Nina took her sticker, and they played with paper and did clean-up and sang the clean-up song. It goes “Keen up, keen up, keen up, keen up! Keen up, keen up, keen up, keen up!” She likes the clean-up song.

Then I say “It’s time to go to bed”, and she leaps on top of me, as if her thirty pounds could hold me down, and hugs me with all her might, which succeeds where mass alone fails. We repeat that three or four times until I say “Lay down and I’ll cover you up”, and she lays down, and I cover her up.

“Night Night.”

“Ni Ni daddy”

I leave. Three or four minutes pass.

“Mommy! Come sing a song! Sing ‘Pokey-Pokey!’”

What is your Alter-Ego
Personality?
link via the Bear’s Cave

Iraq Warns of ‘New Vietnam’ in Any U.S. Attack

“We fear neither America, nor Britain, nor anyone else,” Saleh said. “Even if America comes with all of its forces, Iraq will confront this army and turn the region into a new Vietnam.”

“We have the black pajama’s and the orange robes.” Saleh went on to say. “The opium, weed and hooch are on back order, but we’ve been promised delivery by September 10th, praise Allah. Vietnamland opens for business the next day!”

In a small schoolhouse behind the Iraqi trade ministry, women attend classes that will allow them to recreate the aura of 1960’s Saigon for the visiting American soldier. The importance of maintaining the reality of Vietnamland is drilled into them by the constant repetion of terms familiar to any American G.I, taught to them by a hirsute Quesadilla Hussein (The Robin Williams of Umm Qasr!)

“Me so horny, me love you long time” declaims Quesadilla.

“Me so horny, me love you long time” echoes the class of mostly middle-aged spinsters, dotted here and there by beardless youths with excitement gleaming in their eyes.

Fellani Allahnonnie raises her hand from here seat in the front and questions the professor in her crisp British accent. “Allah’s mercies upon your pustulent lip boils, Professor Hussein, but wouldn’t a realistic pronunciation be closer to ‘Me so holny, me rove you rong time?’”.

“In Allah, Allah, Bo Ballah Bonana, Fanna, Fo Fallah Fee, Fy, Mo Mallah Allah’s name you are indeed correct, madam. However, funding for this program comes from the EU and Archer Daniels Midland, supermarket to the world, and they feel that historically correct pronunciation would be racist in nature. Again if you please, class! Me so horny, me love you long time.”

“Me so horny, me love you long time”

“boom boom long time”
“boom boom long time”

“Ford numbah 1! Mercedes numbah 10!”
“Ford numbah 1! Mercedes numbah 10!”

“Charlie see you, he di di mau.”
“Charlie see you, he di di mau.”

“Thank you class, that will be all for today. Remember to do your vaginal exercises tonight, and don’t forget to bring your Ping-Pong balls to class tomorrow. As you know, Ms. Fonda will be observing, and we don’t want to disappoint her.”

Link via Blogatelle

The Voice of a Generation

Turds are people too!!!!

(Sponsored by the Society for the Humane Interaction with Turds)

Which blogger are you?
Tony from Trojan Horseshoes and I have been debating which Pooh archetype we were. Tony thinks that he’s more of a Tigger, yet

That above P.S. sounds vaguely pathetic, as if I am channeling Eeyore from the Hundred acres. “Thanks for noticing me.”

If you were a denizen of the Hundred Acre Woods, which one would you be?

Eeyore
“Might as well blog. Got nothing better to do. Can’t write, but it doesn’t make a difference. Nobody reads it anyway.”

Pooh
“What does Crustimoney Proseedcake mean?” said Pooh. “For I am a blogger of Very Little Brain, and long words Bother me.”

Piglet
“It is awfully hard to be p-p-p-popular,” said Piglet, “when you are only a Very Small Blogger.”

Rabbit
It was going to be one of Rabbit’s busy days. As soon as he woke up he felt important, as if everything depended on him. It was just the day for Organising Something, or for Writing a Notice Signed Rabbit, or for Seeing What Everybody Else Thought About It. It was a perfect morning for hurrying round to Pooh, and saying “Very well then, I’ll tell Piglet,” and then going to Piglet and saying “Pooh thinks … but maybe I’d better see Owl first.” It was a Captainish sort of day, when everybody said “Yes, Rabbit” and “No, Rabbit,” and waited until he had told them.

Owl
Owl, wise though he was in many ways, was able to read and write and spell his own name WOL, yet somehow went all to pieces over delicate words like MEASLES and BUTTEREDTOAST.

Christopher Robin
“How do you do blogging?” asked Pooh.
“Well, it’s when people call out at you just as you’re going off to do it, `What are you going to do, Christopher Robin?’ and you say, `Oh, nothing’ and then you go and do it. It means just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”

Roo
“You’re always seeing, and nothing ever happens.”

Kanga
Roo, dear, just one more post and then we must go home.”

Tigger
The wonderful thing about bloggers.
Is bloggers are wonderful things.
They make the journalists blubber.
Their bottoms are really big things.
They announce, denounce, pronounce, renounce,
It’s fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!

But the most wonderful thing about bloggers
Is that we have just begun!
The wonderful thing about bloggers,
Is bloggers are wonderful chaps.
They’re loaded with vim and with vigor.
They love to shoot off their yaps.
They announce, denounce, pronounce, renounce,
It’s fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!

But the most wonderful thing about bloggers
Is we’ve only just begun
Bloggers are wonderful fellahs.
Bloggers are awfully sweet.
Everyone else’s is jealous.
And thats why I repeat.

The wonderful thing about bloggers
Is bloggers are wonderful things..
They make the journalists blubber
Their bottoms are really big things.
They announce, denounce, pronounce, renounce,
It’s fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!

But the most wonderful thing about bloggers
Is that we have just begun!
Yes, Weeeeeeeeee have just begun!
(Grrrrrr…)

Update: I changed a line in the Tigger song, as it made no sense.

September 11th victims mapped by zipcode. Link to map halfway down on the right.