Silflay Hraka

The little black book of Superheroines

As BigWig notes, Meryl Yourish is rating Superhero dates. It got me thinking about which Superheroines I’m “drawn” too. (Get it? Drawn. Get it? They’re cartoons. Get it? Hehe.) Here’s my list of the top hotties of the comic world.

Marvel

She-Hulk. She’s mean, she’s green, and she’ll kick your ass in a fight. But she reminds me a little bit of the Bride of Frankenstein. Still, she’s kinda hot. 2 stars.

Sue Richards/The Invisible Woman. Used to be modeled on June Cleaver. Too straight laced and tends to put up barriers between herself and others and disappears when there’s trouble. Sounds like she has some troubles with intimacy and communication. My advice: seek therapy to overcome these relationship killers. And she’s married. But she’s hot. 2 stars.

Ororo/Storm. You can say all of her relationships are fairly stormy and you should seek shelter when she loses her temper. Plus she’s a little claustrophobic, indicating a need for her own personal space. Once again, not a good sign for a true intimate relationship. My personal opinion? She’s steamy. 4 stars.

Jean Grey/Phoenix. Yowsa. I loooove me some redheads. She’s telepathic? Great. She can read my mind? Good. She’ll know what I like. Telepathy is a great communication tool and lends itself to close relationships. I wonder what good telekinesis might be? “Honey, can you get me a beer? The remote? HEY! That feels niiice.” The ultimate Marvel hottie. We won’t mention the little episode about Dark Phoenix. Turns out it wasn’t her after all. 4 stars.

Electra. She’s a bad girl who likes to play with knives. I think you could date her as long as you didn’t have a bad breakup. If you had a really bad breakup, she seems like the type that would trash your apartment in revenge. Oh, or kill you. No thanks.

But she’s hot. 2 stars.

Black Cat. I used to have the biggest crush on her when I was a younger man. She was bad. She was good. She was…nicely drawn. Had a thing for Spiderman, who I always felt was a little whiny. Oh…and she was into whips. You got a problem with that? Me neither. 4 stars.

The Scarlet Witch. Can I get a hell yeah?! 4 stars.

Rogue. Another woman with relationship issues. No touching? Are you kidding? I can’t touch her and she’s got a body like that? And that cute Cajun accent? I couldn’t do it. I’d burst. Sorry, Rogue. No stars.

Psylocke. Another telepath. Another hottie. But no Jean Grey. 3 stars. Wait…wasn’t she British? ‘Cause I love a British accent on a woman. If she is…4 stars.

The White Queen. She runs around in a corset, which is a huge plus in my book, but I’m guessing she’s a control freak and doesn’t play well with others. Plus, she’s totally evil. I suspect she has latent homosexual tendancies. I’m not sure if that’s a plus in my book or not. Let’s give her 2 stars just to play it safe.

Who am I leaving out? Kitty from X-men? Too ephemeral, but wears tight pants. I must be getting old, because she seems a little young for me. 2 stars. Ilyana Rasputin/Magik or whatever her name was? Um…may be the anti-Christ, the child of Satan and her bottom half is that of a goat. Um, no. No stars for you. Polaris? Never a real star in the Marvel world. Has green hair, which is a little too Goth for me. Probably at least as handy as Phoenix at fetching Beers from the fridge with her powers over magnetism. 3 stars. I have to admit that I haven’t read comics lately, so I don’t know if there are any good new heroines/villanesses out there in the Marvel world.

DC Comics

Wonder Woman comes to mind first, of course. Where to begin. Okay…she comes from an Island where there are no men allowed. Can you say Lesbian tendancies? Sure you can. But she dated Superman, so she can’t be totally homosexual. She also has a thing about tying people up and making them tell the truth. Fine. But she dated Superman. I can only imagine the performance anxiety issues that might cause. A decidedly mixed bag. But she’s Wonder Woman. Linda Carter as Wonder Woman was my first crush. 3 stars.

Supergirl/woman. Which is it already? Has she moved beyond that childish Supergirl phase into Superwomanhood? If she has and is ready for an adult relationship, then I’ll think about asking her out. But not before that. I swear. She may be stronger than me, but I know her weakness. It might work. 3 stars. I’m such a liar. Supergirl is hot. 4 stars.

Batgirl. Long red hair. Tight black clothes. Lots of miniture toys in her belt. And she’s a LIBRARIAN. (Swoon.) Okay, you talked me into it. 4 stars.

Catwoman. Long red hair. Tight black clothes. Purrs when she’s happy. She’s oh so bad, but oh so good. We’ll over look her tendancy to pilfer small objects from around the house. 4 stars.

Poison Ivy. Long red hair. Fig Leaf clothing. She’s hypnotic, but her kiss is deadly. Sorry PI. No deadly kissing for me, even though you’re blazing. No stars.

Harlequin. Cute as a button, but is in love with a homocidal clown. Women like that always tend to be sucked into abusive relationships because of a lack of self-confidence. Sure, women in abusive relationships are victims, but at some point you have to be brave enough to stop being a victim and leave. I know that there are plenty of guys out there that will disagree with me, but I’m only giving her 2 stars.

Random Comic Women

I don’t know who publishes these:

Lady Death. Wears next to nothing and is absolutely stunning. But that nickname gives me pause. “What did you say your name was? Lady what? Lady Death? As in Lady “No-Longer-Living” Death? Um…nice to meet you, but I think I left the oven on. See ya!” Maybe a one night stand though? Oh so tempting. 2 stars.

Vampirella. See Lady Death above. “And you’re a vampire!? I bet you lead an interesting life. I always say to my girlfriends you know, Vampires are such iiinnteresting people. By the way, do you like Italian food? I loove Italian food. Especially garlic bread. Loove me some garlic bread.” 2 stars.

Omaha: Cat Dancer. She has all the right moves…but she’s a cat. But she’s a cartoon cat. Bet she still vomits hairballs all over the house. Can’t see it. No stars. Okay…maybe just ONE star. But that don’t mean I like animals. Perverts.

Note to Meryl

The Human Torch? Sorry, sweetheart, but you don’t stand a chance. “FLAME ON! Oh dear, those shoes don’t match that outfit AT ALL!”

Update: Apparently Meryl has more notes on Superhero dating today.

Blogger is losing archived posts. Several of the “Best Hraka Around” over on the right have just disappeared. I’ve republished the archives every time I notice another one gone, and it never works. I’ve sent notice after notice to them, and I’ve never gotten one response. Bastards.

More Palestinians celebrating the death of innocents.

I don’t recall seeing pictures of Israelis celebrating the death of innocents when Salah Shahada was killed. You never do when something like that happens. I was on vacation when it happened, but my basic response was.

1. Never throw shit at an armed man.
2. Never stand next to someone who is throwing shit at an armed man.
3. Don’t live in a building with someone who is throwing shit at an armed man.

Now I have another;
4. If you support people who pay people to throw shit at an armed man, you might as well be throwing the shit yourself.
And
5. Don’t come running to my ass for sympathy after the armed man razes your house.

Thanks to Niven for the use of his laws.

Jerusalem is one of the few places left where Palestinians are mixed in with the Israeli population. If Jerusalem is having a problem with Islamikazes, and they are, then it’s time to drive them out of Jerusalem.

Sept. 11 Fake ID Suspect Flees U.S.

A modified elephant joke.

What did the FBI do when an elephant walked into their headquarters?
Nothing, they didn’t notice.

Bonus points to whomever points out the original joke.

According to NPR, he was interviewed by the FBI on May 23rd, when he admitted selling fake ID papers to one of the september hijackers.

Question for the FBI: WHY WAS THIS MOTHERFUCKER WALKING AROUND FREE? WERE YOU TOO GODDAMN BUSY COVERING YOUR WORTHLESS ASSES TO ACTUALLY ARREST SOMEONE WHO AIDED AND ABETTED THE MURDER OF 3000 PEOPLE?

Ahem. Excuse me. I grant that there is the possiblily that you are following him in hopes that he will lead you to bigger fish, but I don’t believe it. Nothing the FBI has done gives me any faith in the department. We’d be better served shutting the whole damn thing down and starting over. John “Koba” Ashcroft’s would rather pay people to spy on their neighbors, rather than firing inept agents when they screw up. How many bureaucrats have lost their jobs due to September 11th, John? What a miracle, 3000 people died and not one person was at fault.

You know what? I’m tired of giving this government the benefit of the doubt. I cannot stomach the fact that they are this damn inept. Every time they blow something like this they just give more credence to the French Guy.

Meryl has a post up about dating superheroes. Superman gets two stars. I’d give him less, if only because of Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex.

Why doesn?t ______ have a blog?

Politicians are constantly trying to get a message out. To do that, they?re beholden to the mainstream media, which they pretty much hate. It distorts their positions and mis-quotes them when not actively attacking them. You can be a media darling for a little while, but it never lasts. There are other ways to reach out. You could clog up mailboxes with your franking privilege, but that probably pisses more people off than it informs. I get enough junk mail, I don?t need snail mail spam from Mike Easley, not that he sends me much. Thanks Mike. There?s also a good argument to be made that the overwhelming political cynicism of the current age is due to the media and its stranglehold on political culture. So politicians are stuck on the back of the media tiger, and it doesn?t look like many are trying to get off.

There are political blogs. There?s lots of them. Practically all the news there is about blogging is driven by stories about political blogs.

But why aren?t there any politicians blogs? Well, there are, or rather, there is. One.

At least it’s the only one that I found, after a rather lengthy search. If you know of more, let me know, and I?ll add them here.

Bill Wood’s Weblog

He?s only been around since May 13th. Of course, that?s a full seven days longer that we?ve been around, so I?m not casting any stones. It could use some more regular attention, though, Bill.

I think there are a number of advantages to a politician having his or her own blog, as long its updated daily, and as long they post personally.

1.) You can change your position on an issue, and you can point towards ?the excellent arguments of the readers on my blog? as a reason. As it stands now, all one hears when a politico changes his stance is screams of ?flip-flop? from the other side. Now you have a clear example of the evolution in your thinking for all to see. You won?t get that from television. Stating that time and again will also drive traffic to your blog, traffic that will see your words and your thoughts without them being filtered by the media for probably the first time ever.

How many of you out there would feel a little more warmly about John McCain if he pointed to words you wrote on his blog when discussing how he changed his position on campaign finance reform? Or if Al Gore quoted an argument you used when discussing his new-found distrust of the Kyoto protocols?

2.) Also for the first time, you?d begin to be perceived as a real person. I don?t know about you, but the only major politician I?m prepared to believe was not manufactured by the Stepford corporation is David Price, because he talked to me about books for five minutes one day when I was clerking at B&N. I?ll vote for him, forever. I?d add Terry Sanford to the list to, for the same reasons except he?s dead. And it was for fifteen minutes, over coffee, and he signed a book for my dad. A blog allows you to do the same thing Terry and David did to me, to thousands of people at a time. Posts don?t have to be about your campaign, they can be about anything, and the farther they deviate from whatever the message of the day is, the more likely it will be that people will begin to perceive you as an actual human, rather than a demon in a coat and tie. And you can bet your last dollar that it will be thousands of people at a time, because there isn?t a warblogger around that couldn?t resist linking to damn near everyone of your posts. They?ll probably even link to your message of the day.

3.) You?ll get a lot of media coverage because of the blog. The media is fascinated by them. Blogging may be a fad, and it may die out by 2004. But if it doesn?t it will be absolutely huge, and you?ll have started back in the days of its relative infancy. Which means;

4.) You?ll be seen as the ?tech? candidate. Gore may have gotten a lot of grief from the ?invented the internet? thing, but one of the best positives he had was his identification with technology and the internet. It?s always nice to look like you can see the future. Besides, more and more people surf the Internet, and a great deal of them depend on it for their jobs. The simple act of putting up a personal site on the web allows them to identify with you. It?s easily more populist than owning a baseball team, or an energy company. The latest numbers show 167 million people are on the web in the US. That?s 63 million more people than voted in the last election. We could reach 200 or 250 million by 2004. Start now, and they?ll respect you then. Start then, and you?ll be a Johnnie come lately.

5.) You can blow off journalists. When Helen Thomas asks you the same damn question she asked yesterday, and the day before that, you can tell her you answered that on your blog, and doesn?t she have any new questions? Forcing journalists to focus away from the scandal of the day allows you to weather them a lot easier, I?d imagine. Best make sure you actually have answered it on your blog, or Helen will look like a pussycat. We notice things like that.

I?ll make a prediction, since after all, I am so good at them. The next president will be the first candidate to start a blog and update it daily. That?ll likely be John McCain, or a Democrat. There?s nothing stopping George Bush, but blogging is a tool used by people who are Internet savvy. George is a CEO, and CEO?s, for the most part, can barely handle email and Powerpoint. You think George knows Powerpoint? You think George even knows what Google is? I?d be happy to be wrong, but nothing I have ever read or heard suggests to me that George Bush surfs the web. Umm, if you happen to be reading this, Mr. President, I?m pretty sure that?s Ari Fleischer?s fault. On the plus side if nobody starts a blog, I?m predicting you?ll be re-elected.

Also if any of the major prospective candidates start a blog anytime soon, you can bet they?ve decided to run for office.

Of course, the blogs will need names. Here?s a few suggestions.

Al Gore ? Inventor of the Blog ? Self deprecating humor always plays well with the electorate. Remember his Macarena?

John McCain – The Straight Blog ? reminds people of the straight talk express, back in the day. Also sounds like the Straight Dope, which carries overtones of ?The buck stops here? or for the particularly geeky, a man who knows everything.

Dick Gephardt ? High Brow Blog ? plays off the popular culture portrayal of him as a man with no eyebrows.

John Edwards ? Mr. Edwards goes to Washington ? Reminds people that he?s new to Washington, so he can still carry a whiff of outsider. And it never hurts to identify yourself with Jimmy Stewart, who played a number of crusaders. If you?re going to be a lawyer, it?s best to be a crusading lawyer.

Tom Harken ? Corn Blog.

Joe Lieberman?.John Kerry?. I don?t know. Any suggestions?

I?m not going to pretend that politicians are going to post to a blog without it being proof-read and scanned for bombs by, at the very least, an English teacher and campaign staffers. But, Mr. Candidate, if you treat it as your blog, rather than your campaign?s blog, it will pay great dividends. Also, you?d probably need someone familiar with the blogosphere to um?facilitate things. Hello?……Hello?

Why doesn?t ______ have a blog?

Politicians are constantly trying to get a message out. To do that, they?re beholden to the mainstream media, which they pretty much hate. It distorts their positions and mis-quotes them when not actively attacking them. You can be a media darling for a little while, but it never lasts. There are other ways to reach out. You could clog up mailboxes with your franking privilege, but that probably pisses more people off than it informs. I get enough junk mail, I don?t need snail mail spam from Mike Easley, not that he sends me much. Thanks Mike. There?s also a good argument to be made that the overwhelming political cynicism of the current age is due to the media and its stranglehold on political culture. So politicians are stuck on the back of the media tiger, and it doesn?t look like many are trying to get off.

There are political blogs. There?s lots of them. Practically all the news there is about blogging is driven by stories about political blogs.

But why aren?t there any politicians blogs? Well, there are, or rather, there is. One.

At least it’s the only one that I found, after a rather lengthy search. If you know of more, let me know, and I?ll add them here.

Bill Wood’s Weblog

He?s only been around since May 13th. Of course, that?s a full seven days longer that we?ve been around, so I?m not casting any stones. It could use some more regular attention, though, Bill.

I think there are a number of advantages to a politician having his or her own blog, as long its updated daily, and as long they post personally.

1.) You can change your position on an issue, and you can point towards ?the excellent arguments of the readers on my blog? as a reason. As it stands now, all one hears when a politico changes his stance is screams of ?flip-flop? from the other side. Now you have a clear example of the evolution in your thinking for all to see. You won?t get that from television. Stating that time and again will also drive traffic to your blog, traffic that will see your words and your thoughts without them being filtered by the media for probably the first time ever.

How many of you out there would feel a little more warmly about John McCain if he pointed to words you wrote on his blog when discussing how he changed his position on campaign finance reform? Or if Al Gore quoted an argument you used when discussing his new-found distrust of the Kyoto protocols?

2.) Also for the first time, you?d begin to be perceived as a real person. I don?t know about you, but the only major politician I?m prepared to believe was not manufactured by the Stepford corporation is David Price, because he talked to me about books for five minutes one day when I was clerking at B&N. I?ll vote for him, forever. I?d add Terry Sanford to the list to, for the same reasons except he?s dead. And it was for fifteen minutes, over coffee, and he signed a book for my dad. A blog allows you to do the same thing Terry and David did to me, to thousands of people at a time. Posts don?t have to be about your campaign, they can be about anything, and the farther they deviate from whatever the message of the day is, the more likely it will be that people will begin to perceive you as an actual human, rather than a demon in a coat and tie. And you can bet your last dollar that it will be thousands of people at a time, because there isn?t a warblogger around that couldn?t resist linking to damn near everyone of your posts. They?ll probably even link to your message of the day.

3.) You?ll get a lot of media coverage because of the blog. The media is fascinated by them. Blogging may be a fad, and it may die out by 2004. But if it doesn?t it will be absolutely huge, and you?ll have started back in the days of its relative infancy. Which means;

4.) You?ll be seen as the ?tech? candidate. Gore may have gotten a lot of grief from the ?invented the internet? thing, but one of the best positives he had was his identification with technology and the internet. It?s always nice to look like you can see the future. Besides, more and more people surf the Internet, and a great deal of them depend on it for their jobs. The simple act of putting up a personal site on the web allows them to identify with you. It?s easily more populist than owning a baseball team, or an energy company. The latest numbers show 167 million people are on the web in the US. That?s 63 million more people than voted in the last election. We could reach 200 or 250 million by 2004. Start now, and they?ll respect you then. Start then, and you?ll be a Johnnie come lately.

5.) You can blow off journalists. When Helen Thomas asks you the same damn question she asked yesterday, and the day before that, you can tell her you answered that on your blog, and doesn?t she have any new questions? Forcing journalists to focus away from the scandal of the day allows you to weather them a lot easier, I?d imagine. Best make sure you actually have answered it on your blog, or Helen will look like a pussycat. We notice things like that.

I?ll make a prediction, since after all, I am so good at them. The next president will be the first candidate to start a blog and update it daily. That?ll likely be John McCain, or a Democrat. There?s nothing stopping George Bush, but blogging is a tool used by people who are Internet savvy. George is a CEO, and CEO?s, for the most part, can barely handle email and Powerpoint. You think George knows Powerpoint? You think George even knows what Google is? I?d be happy to be wrong, but nothing I have ever read or heard suggests to me that George Bush surfs the web. Umm, if you happen to be reading this, Mr. President, I?m pretty sure that?s Ari Fleischer?s fault. On the plus side if nobody starts a blog, I?m predicting you?ll be re-elected.

Also if any of the major prospective candidates start a blog anytime soon, you can bet they?ve decided to run for office.

Of course, the blogs will need names. Here?s a few suggestions.

Al Gore ? Inventor of the Blog ? Self deprecating humor always plays well with the electorate. Remember his Macarena?

John McCain – The Straight Blog ? reminds people of the straight talk express, back in the day. Also sounds like the Straight Dope, which carries overtones of ?The buck stops here? or for the particularly geeky, a man who knows everything.

Dick Gephardt ? High Brow Blog ? plays off the popular culture portrayal of him as a man with no eyebrows.

John Edwards ? Mr. Edwards goes to Washington ? Reminds people that he?s new to Washington, so he can still carry a whiff of outsider. And it never hurts to identify yourself with Jimmy Stewart, who played a number of crusaders. If you?re going to be a lawyer, it?s best to be a crusading lawyer.

Tom Harken ? Corn Blog.

Joe Lieberman?.John Kerry?. I don?t know. Any suggestions?

I?m not going to pretend that politicians are going to post to a blog without it being proof-read and scanned for bombs by, at the very least, an English teacher and campaign staffers. But, Mr. Candidate, if you treat it as your blog, rather than your campaign?s blog, it will pay great dividends. Also, you?d probably need someone familiar with the blogosphere to um?facilitate things. Hello?……Hello?

Why doesn?t ______ have a blog?

Politicians are constantly trying to get a message out. To do that, they?re beholden to the mainstream media, which they pretty much hate. It distorts their positions and mis-quotes them when not actively attacking them. You can be a media darling for a little while, but it never lasts. There are other ways to reach out. You could clog up mailboxes with your franking privilege, but that probably pisses more people off than it informs. I get enough junk mail, I don?t need snail mail spam from Mike Easley, not that he sends me much. Thanks Mike. There?s also a good argument to be made that the overwhelming political cynicism of the current age is due to the media and its stranglehold on political culture. So politicians are stuck on the back of the media tiger, and it doesn?t look like many are trying to get off.

There are political blogs. There?s lots of them. Practically all the news there is about blogging is driven by stories about political blogs.

But why aren?t there any politicians blogs? Well, there are, or rather, there is. One.

At least it’s the only one that I found, after a rather lengthy search. If you know of more, let me know, and I?ll add them here.

Bill Wood’s Weblog

He?s only been around since May 13th. Of course, that?s a full seven days longer that we?ve been around, so I?m not casting any stones. It could use some more regular attention, though, Bill.

I think there are a number of advantages to a politician having his or her own blog, as long its updated daily, and as long they post personally.

1.) You can change your position on an issue, and you can point towards ?the excellent arguments of the readers on my blog? as a reason. As it stands now, all one hears when a politico changes his stance is screams of ?flip-flop? from the other side. Now you have a clear example of the evolution in your thinking for all to see. You won?t get that from television. Stating that time and again will also drive traffic to your blog, traffic that will see your words and your thoughts without them being filtered by the media for probably the first time ever.

How many of you out there would feel a little more warmly about John McCain if he pointed to words you wrote on his blog when discussing how he changed his position on campaign finance reform? Or if Al Gore quoted an argument you used when discussing his new-found distrust of the Kyoto protocols?

2.) Also for the first time, you?d begin to be perceived as a real person. I don?t know about you, but the only major politician I?m prepared to believe was not manufactured by the Stepford corporation is David Price, because he talked to me about books for five minutes one day when I was clerking at B&N. I?ll vote for him, forever. I?d add Terry Sanford to the list to, for the same reasons except he?s dead. And it was for fifteen minutes, over coffee, and he signed a book for my dad. A blog allows you to do the same thing Terry and David did to me, to thousands of people at a time. Posts don?t have to be about your campaign, they can be about anything, and the farther they deviate from whatever the message of the day is, the more likely it will be that people will begin to perceive you as an actual human, rather than a demon in a coat and tie. And you can bet your last dollar that it will be thousands of people at a time, because there isn?t a warblogger around that couldn?t resist linking to damn near everyone of your posts. They?ll probably even link to your message of the day.

3.) You?ll get a lot of media coverage because of the blog. The media is fascinated by them. Blogging may be a fad, and it may die out by 2004. But if it doesn?t it will be absolutely huge, and you?ll have started back in the days of its relative infancy. Which means;

4.) You?ll be seen as the ?tech? candidate. Gore may have gotten a lot of grief from the ?invented the internet? thing, but one of the best positives he had was his identification with technology and the internet. It?s always nice to look like you can see the future. Besides, more and more people surf the Internet, and a great deal of them depend on it for their jobs. The simple act of putting up a personal site on the web allows them to identify with you. It?s easily more populist than owning a baseball team, or an energy company. The latest numbers show 167 million people are on the web in the US. That?s 63 million more people than voted in the last election. We could reach 200 or 250 million by 2004. Start now, and they?ll respect you then. Start then, and you?ll be a Johnnie come lately.

5.) You can blow off journalists. When Helen Thomas asks you the same damn question she asked yesterday, and the day before that, you can tell her you answered that on your blog, and doesn?t she have any new questions? Forcing journalists to focus away from the scandal of the day allows you to weather them a lot easier, I?d imagine. Best make sure you actually have answered it on your blog, or Helen will look like a pussycat. We notice things like that.

I?ll make a prediction, since after all, I am so good at them. The next president will be the first candidate to start a blog and update it daily. That?ll likely be John McCain, or a Democrat. There?s nothing stopping George Bush, but blogging is a tool used by people who are Internet savvy. George is a CEO, and CEO?s, for the most part, can barely handle email and Powerpoint. You think George knows Powerpoint? You think George even knows what Google is? I?d be happy to be wrong, but nothing I have ever read or heard suggests to me that George Bush surfs the web. Umm, if you happen to be reading this, Mr. President, I?m pretty sure that?s Ari Fleischer?s fault. On the plus side if nobody starts a blog, I?m predicting you?ll be re-elected.

Also if any of the major prospective candidates start a blog anytime soon, you can bet they?ve decided to run for office.

Of course, the blogs will need names. Here?s a few suggestions.

Al Gore ? Inventor of the Blog ? Self deprecating humor always plays well with the electorate. Remember his Macarena?

John McCain – The Straight Blog ? reminds people of the straight talk express, back in the day. Also sounds like the Straight Dope, which carries overtones of ?The buck stops here? or for the particularly geeky, a man who knows everything.

Dick Gephardt ? High Brow Blog ? plays off the popular culture portrayal of him as a man with no eyebrows.

John Edwards ? Mr. Edwards goes to Washington ? Reminds people that he?s new to Washington, so he can still carry a whiff of outsider. And it never hurts to identify yourself with Jimmy Stewart, who played a number of crusaders. If you?re going to be a lawyer, it?s best to be a crusading lawyer.

Tom Harken ? Corn Blog.

Joe Lieberman?.John Kerry?. I don?t know. Any suggestions?

I?m not going to pretend that politicians are going to post to a blog without it being proof-read and scanned for bombs by, at the very least, an English teacher and campaign staffers. But, Mr. Candidate, if you treat it as your blog, rather than your campaign?s blog, it will pay great dividends. Also, you?d probably need someone familiar with the blogosphere to um?facilitate things. Hello?……Hello?

Why doesn?t ______ have a blog?

Politicians are constantly trying to get a message out. To do that, they?re beholden to the mainstream media, which they pretty much hate. It distorts their positions and mis-quotes them when not actively attacking them. You can be a media darling for a little while, but it never lasts. There are other ways to reach out. You could clog up mailboxes with your franking privilege, but that probably pisses more people off than it informs. I get enough junk mail, I don?t need snail mail spam from Mike Easley, not that he sends me much. Thanks Mike. There?s also a good argument to be made that the overwhelming political cynicism of the current age is due to the media and its stranglehold on political culture. So politicians are stuck on the back of the media tiger, and it doesn?t look like many are trying to get off.

There are political blogs. There?s lots of them. Practically all the news there is about blogging is driven by stories about political blogs.

But why aren?t there any politicians blogs? Well, there are, or rather, there is. One.

At least it’s the only one that I found, after a rather lengthy search. If you know of more, let me know, and I?ll add them here.

Bill Wood’s Weblog

He?s only been around since May 13th. Of course, that?s a full seven days longer that we?ve been around, so I?m not casting any stones. It could use some more regular attention, though, Bill.

I think there are a number of advantages to a politician having his or her own blog, as long its updated daily, and as long they post personally.

1.) You can change your position on an issue, and you can point towards ?the excellent arguments of the readers on my blog? as a reason. As it stands now, all one hears when a politico changes his stance is screams of ?flip-flop? from the other side. Now you have a clear example of the evolution in your thinking for all to see. You won?t get that from television. Stating that time and again will also drive traffic to your blog, traffic that will see your words and your thoughts without them being filtered by the media for probably the first time ever.

How many of you out there would feel a little more warmly about John McCain if he pointed to words you wrote on his blog when discussing how he changed his position on campaign finance reform? Or if Al Gore quoted an argument you used when discussing his new-found distrust of the Kyoto protocols?

2.) Also for the first time, you?d begin to be perceived as a real person. I don?t know about you, but the only major politician I?m prepared to believe was not manufactured by the Stepford corporation is David Price, because he talked to me about books for five minutes one day when I was clerking at B&N. I?ll vote for him, forever. I?d add Terry Sanford to the list to, for the same reasons except he?s dead. And it was for fifteen minutes, over coffee, and he signed a book for my dad. A blog allows you to do the same thing Terry and David did to me, to thousands of people at a time. Posts don?t have to be about your campaign, they can be about anything, and the farther they deviate from whatever the message of the day is, the more likely it will be that people will begin to perceive you as an actual human, rather than a demon in a coat and tie. And you can bet your last dollar that it will be thousands of people at a time, because there isn?t a warblogger around that couldn?t resist linking to damn near everyone of your posts. They?ll probably even link to your message of the day.

3.) You?ll get a lot of media coverage because of the blog. The media is fascinated by them. Blogging may be a fad, and it may die out by 2004. But if it doesn?t it will be absolutely huge, and you?ll have started back in the days of its relative infancy. Which means;

4.) You?ll be seen as the ?tech? candidate. Gore may have gotten a lot of grief from the ?invented the internet? thing, but one of the best positives he had was his identification with technology and the internet. It?s always nice to look like you can see the future. Besides, more and more people surf the Internet, and a great deal of them depend on it for their jobs. The simple act of putting up a personal site on the web allows them to identify with you. It?s easily more populist than owning a baseball team, or an energy company. The latest numbers show 167 million people are on the web in the US. That?s 63 million more people than voted in the last election. We could reach 200 or 250 million by 2004. Start now, and they?ll respect you then. Start then, and you?ll be a Johnnie come lately.

5.) You can blow off journalists. When Helen Thomas asks you the same damn question she asked yesterday, and the day before that, you can tell her you answered that on your blog, and doesn?t she have any new questions? Forcing journalists to focus away from the scandal of the day allows you to weather them a lot easier, I?d imagine. Best make sure you actually have answered it on your blog, or Helen will look like a pussycat. We notice things like that.

I?ll make a prediction, since after all, I am so good at them. The next president will be the first candidate to start a blog and update it daily. That?ll likely be John McCain, or a Democrat. There?s nothing stopping George Bush, but blogging is a tool used by people who are Internet savvy. George is a CEO, and CEO?s, for the most part, can barely handle email and Powerpoint. You think George knows Powerpoint? You think George even knows what Google is? I?d be happy to be wrong, but nothing I have ever read or heard suggests to me that George Bush surfs the web. Umm, if you happen to be reading this, Mr. President, I?m pretty sure that?s Ari Fleischer?s fault. On the plus side if nobody starts a blog, I?m predicting you?ll be re-elected.

Also if any of the major prospective candidates start a blog anytime soon, you can bet they?ve decided to run for office.

Of course, the blogs will need names. Here?s a few suggestions.

Al Gore ? Inventor of the Blog ? Self deprecating humor always plays well with the electorate. Remember his Macarena?

John McCain – The Straight Blog ? reminds people of the straight talk express, back in the day. Also sounds like the Straight Dope, which carries overtones of ?The buck stops here? or for the particularly geeky, a man who knows everything.

Dick Gephardt ? High Brow Blog ? plays off the popular culture portrayal of him as a man with no eyebrows.

John Edwards ? Mr. Edwards goes to Washington ? Reminds people that he?s new to Washington, so he can still carry a whiff of outsider. And it never hurts to identify yourself with Jimmy Stewart, who played a number of crusaders. If you?re going to be a lawyer, it?s best to be a crusading lawyer.

Tom Harken ? Corn Blog.

Joe Lieberman?.John Kerry?. I don?t know. Any suggestions?

I?m not going to pretend that politicians are going to post to a blog without it being proof-read and scanned for bombs by, at the very least, an English teacher and campaign staffers. But, Mr. Candidate, if you treat it as your blog, rather than your campaign?s blog, it will pay great dividends. Also, you?d probably need someone familiar with the blogosphere to um?facilitate things. Hello?……Hello?

The President of Turdistan addesses the Parliament.